50 Hilarious Kids Jokes {UPDATED}

    Posted by  ·  September 3, 2018

    Kids jokes are sure to bring a smile and some laughter. Here are over 50 hilarious jokes to keep kids laughing.   As a mom, I love hanging out with my kids and their friends.  I seem to spend countless hours in carpools, volunteering at school, and coaching youth sports.  In all of these circles of kiddos, I like to think of myself as a fun mom. For me, cracking a few jokes, laughing, giving a high five, and just plain being silly is a great way to create relationships with kids.  Jokes are also a great way to kill a little time when you are trying to keep kids organized or a child occupied.  Waiting in line, waiting at a restaurant, waiting for the dentist!

    telling kids jokes

    However, my mind is not the steel trap that it once was!  I have heard countless jokes (mostly from my sweet tooth years of eating Laffy Taffy in my childhood) and yet I can never seem to produce more than one or two jokes from memory when needed.  So, I have compiled a long list of what I think are some pretty hilarious kid-friendly jokes.  I tested them on my own children (and husband) and we all were cracking up. Kids laugh at these! I just love to hear them laugh!  I think this is an easy list to try and learn, or just store in your phone for quick retrieval.

    Kids Jokes

    Q:  How do you get a tissue to dance?

    A:  You put a little boogie in it

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    Q:  Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?

    A:  Because it was full of cheetahs

     

    Q:  Why is a bad joke like a pencil?

    A:  Because it has no point

     

    Q:  Where do polar bears keep their money?

    A:  A snow bank.

     

    Q:  What room can no one enter?

    A:  A mushroom

     

    Q:  What kind of key can never unlock a door?

    A:  A monkey

     

    Q:  What has four wheel and flies?

    A:  A garbage truck

     

    Q:  Why do graveyards have a fence around them?

    A:  Because people are dying to get in.

     

    Q:  What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?

    A:  Show your spirit

     

    Q:  What did one eye say to the other?

    A:  Between you and me something smells.

     

    Q:  What do you call fake noodles?

    A:  Im-pasta

     

    Q:  How does the ocean say hello?

    A:  It waves

     

    Q:  What do you call cheese that is not yours?

    A:  Nacho cheese

     

    Q:  What does a nosey pepper do?

    A:  Gets jalapeno your business

     

    Q:  What do you call a pig that knows karate?

    A:  Pork Chop

     

    Q:  Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

    A:  Because she will let it go

     

    Q:  What is the smartest kind of bee?

    A:  A spelling bee

     

    Q:  Why do bees have sticky hair?

    A:  They use a honey comb

     

    Q:  What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?

    A:  Mashed potatoes

     

    Q:  What do you call an old snowman?

    A:  Water

     

    Q:  Why is a baseball stadium always cool?

    A: It is full of fans

     

    Q:  Why did Santa go to music school?

    A:  So he could improve his wrapping skills

     

    Q:  Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?

    A:  Because he was always lost at C

     

    Q:  What did the man say when he walked into a bar?

    A:  Ouch!

     

    Q:  What are the strongest days of the week?

    A:  Saturday and Sunday.  Every other day is a weekday

     

    Q:  What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?

    A:  A watchdog

     

    Q:  What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?

    A:  A chipmonk

     

    Q:  What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her out on a date?

    A:  Shore

     

    Q:  Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

    A:  Because the have good soles

     

    Q:  What did one plate say to another plate?

    A:  Dinner is on me

     

    Q:  Why did they bury the battery?

    A:  Becaue it was dead

     

    Q:  What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

    A:  Time to get a new fence

     

    Q:  Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?

    A:  Because they taste funny

     

    Q:  Why did the girl throw a stick of butter?

    A:  She wanted to see a butter fly

     

    Q:  What did the finger say to thumb?

    A:. I’m in glove with you

     

    Q:  What has only one eye, but still can’t see?

    A:  A needle

    More Jokes for Kids

    This list is now updated with more kids jokes!  Here are a few more funny jokes for kids I just added.  I hope you haven’t heard these yet!

    Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

    A: He wanted to go to high school.

     

    Q: What do you call a cow with three legs?

    A: Lean beef

     

    Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?

    A: Sorry, it is too cheesy.

     

    Q: Why was the broom late

    A: It overswept

     

    Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

    A: In case he got a hole in one.

     

    Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

    A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

     

    Q: What word starts with E and has only one letter in it?

    A: Envelope.

     

    Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?

    A: Because you can’t see in the dark

     

    Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

    A: Ten tickles 

     

    Q: Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?

    A: He wanted to see time fly.

     

    Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    A: It wasn’t peeling well.

     

    Q: What kind of tree can fit into your hand?

    A: A palm tree! 

     

    Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree?

    A: By its bark! 

    Be sure to check the comments on this post for even more funny kids jokes!

     

    Funny Jokes for Kids

    For more jokes check out this list of kids knock knock jokes

    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Boo.  Boo who?  Don’t cry, it’s just me.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Cow says.  Cow says who?  NOOOOOO!  A cow says moo!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Iva.  Iva who?  Iva sore hand from knocking.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Interrupting cow.  Interrupting cow….mooooo.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Interrupting pirate.  Interrupting pirate….ARRRRGH
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  A broken pencil.  Broken pencil who?   Nevermind, it’s pointless.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?   A little old lady.  A little old lady who?  I didn’t know that you could yodel.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Atch.  Atch who?  Bless you.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?   Figs.  Figs who?  Fix the doorbell, it’s broken!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Lettuce.  Lettuce who?  Lettuce in we’re cold out here!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?   Honey bee.  Honey bee who?  Honey, be a dear and make me a sandwich!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Ice cream.  Ice cream who?  Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there? Water.  Water who?  Water way to answer the door.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Pecan.  Pecan who?  Pecan on someone your own size.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Ketchup.  Ketchup who?  Ketchup to me, and I will tell you!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Isma.  Isma who?  Isma dinner ready yet?
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Ida.  Ida who?  Ida know, you tell me.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Turnip.  Turnip the music, it’s my favorite song!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Butter.  butter who?  It is butter if you don’t know.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Leaf.  Leaf who?  Leaf me alone.
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Thermos.  Thermos who?  Thermos be a better knock knock joke than this!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Cook.  Cook who?  I’m not crazy!  You’re the coo coo!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Mikey.  Mikey who?  My key won’t unlock this door, so let me in!
    • Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Banana.  Banana who?  Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Banana.  Banana who?  Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  Orange.  Orange who?  Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?!?
    • Will you remember me in 20 years?  Will you remember me for one year?  Will you remember me tomorrow?  Will you remember in two minutes?  Knock knock.  Who’s there?  you forgot me already!
    • Printable Kids Jokes for lunch

    Jokes

    These corny kids jokes would also be fun to add to a lunchbox and send to school!  I’ve included some knocking jokes because kids find them so funny. A kids joke tucked in a little note is a  great way to make a child smile halfway through their day.  I love lunchbox notes, and you might get a laugh with these.

    If you like Holiday jokes these Easter jokes are pretty funny!  I hope you love these funny jokes for kids and you get a laugh!

    Joking around!

    What other fun activities do you like to do with kids?  Do you enjoy riddles or eye spy games? We also love Would you rather? If you like that one I have another would you rather game here. This color scavenger hunt is a great way to get kids outside.

    I hope this corny list of kid jokes will keep you and your kids laughing.  Maybe it will even inspire everyone to create some new funny jokes of their own.  I love to hear kids jokes.  Sometimes they are so funny and sometimes…well sometimes, they just don’t quite make sense. (Which still makes me laugh!)  We have been telling jokes at the dinner table lately, I think we may have started a new dinner tradition.  My daughter told me a great riddle the other day, and it got me thinking!  I think I need to find a riddle or two and try to stump her and her friends!  Do you know any great riddles for kids?  You can also check out some great joke books at the library.  What a great way to get kids reading!

    How about jokes?  What are your favorite jokes to tell?  Do they get a few smiles and chuckles?  I would love to hear them, so please leave me a joke or a riddle in the comments below.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

     

     

     

     

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    Comments

    1. Saturday, September 22nd, 2018
      These jokes are so funny😂😂
    2. Saturday, September 22nd, 2018
      Soooooooooooooo funy
    3. Diane Cooper
      Sunday, September 9th, 2018
      What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand . Quattro Cinco ( sinko )
    4. Carmen Alexander
      Tuesday, September 4th, 2018
      Super awesome jokes...dunno when last I had such a good laugh. I know my daughter will love these jokes. So I will be surprising her with a few tonight. Cant wait to get home ;-) Thank you so much!
    5. Meg
      Monday, September 3rd, 2018
      A bridge can only hold two people. If three people cross it at the same time, it will collapse. One night, a king and his son cross the bridge. It collapses. Why?


      Replace night with knight and put a comma after king 🙂
    6. Ashley Van Vurst
      Sunday, September 2nd, 2018
      Knock knock
      Who’s There
      Dr. Phil
      Dr. Phil who
      Dr. Phil my prescription are you a talk
      Show host or a pharmacist
    7. Amy
      Friday, August 31st, 2018
      What did the cookie go to the doctor?
      It was feeling crummy


      Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
      She out grew her b shells
    8. Monday, August 13th, 2018
      A man walks into a pet store and sees a parrot in the corner. He starts bidding on it, and bidding on it, and bidding on it... until he finally gets it for $500! As he is going to pay for the parrot, he says, "You know, for the amount of money I am paying for this bird, I sure hope it can talk..." And pet store owner replies, "Talk!?... Who do you think's been bidding against you for the last hour!"
      • Cindy
        Thursday, August 16th, 2018
        Funny Joke Daniel! Thanks for sharing!
    9. Joy Van Camp
      Monday, July 9th, 2018
      How can I get a printable list of the kids jokes?
      They are GREAT!
      • Cindy
        Thursday, August 16th, 2018
        Hey Joy, I will work on a printable list. Thanks for the idea! Have you checked out the would you rather questions? They are funny and printable. https://www.skiptomylou.org/would-you-rather/
    10. Monday, July 9th, 2018
      Heather,

      I thought these were cute since Gracie and Griffin like jokes so much. I tried to save it to Pinterest but haven't figured out how yet...

      Momma
    11. DARLENE Brown
      Thursday, June 14th, 2018
      Why did the golfer wear two pairs on pants?
      He was afraid he'd make a hole in one !
      • Cindy
        Thursday, August 16th, 2018
        haha Darlene that is a funny joke!
    12. patty
      Wednesday, May 30th, 2018
      Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
      In case he got a hole in one.

      Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
      They kept saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

      What word startes with E and has only one letter in it? Envelope.
      • Cindy
        Thursday, August 16th, 2018
        I am going to have to update the list with these jokes Patty! Too funny!
    13. Sheila
      Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018
      I have a 8 year old great nephew in Texas, I am in State of WA, every month I look and try to find new and funny jokes to send him. Been doing this for over a year now. These will really make him laugh. In fact I have a few very elderly friends I send the same jokes to each month and they just love to get them. They say it makes their day. I know they will love the jokes you wrote.
      • Cindy
        Thursday, August 16th, 2018
        Thanks, Sheila! Be sure to share any funny jokes you have with us!
    14. vagmeli
      Friday, January 12th, 2018
      Pas mal ,mais pour mes petits enfants ,ils sont trop jeunes pour le moment
    15. Thursday, January 11th, 2018
      Could you please email these jokes to my daughter ? She's 11 & would love these.
      She's not allowed on social media yet, so i can't share with her.

      Thanks !
      • Cindy
        Sunday, January 14th, 2018
        Hi Carolyn I emailed them your way!
    16. Laura Reese
      Monday, July 31st, 2017
      My kids love a good joke. I can't wait to share this with them!
    17. Jen
      Monday, July 31st, 2017
      I'm saving these for entertainment while waiting for doctor appointments next week! Thanks!
    18. Monday, July 31st, 2017
      OMG I'm horrible at thinking of jokes - I needed these!!! Love them all! Thanks Skip to My Lou!!!
    19. Stacy
      Sunday, July 30th, 2017
      These are great! Thank you for the list. We had some good laughs on our road trip today !!
    20. George
      Sunday, July 30th, 2017
      I think watching the children laugh at these jokes is better then the jokes themselves!
    21. Melissa
      Saturday, July 22nd, 2017
      These are great!! Can't wait to see my grand kids and try them out.