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Dad Jokes

Posted by  ·  June 2, 2019  ·  Last Updated: June 4, 2019

Does your Dad have a sense of humor? Help him out with these silly Dad jokes.  Most Dad jokes are corny and punny but they can still make you laugh.

Every family has a few classic jokes they use over and over and over… Add one of these funny jokes to your list.

dad jokes

What is a dad joke?

A dad joke is typically a short joke that really isn’t very funny. They are told by middle-aged or older men. They are generally good clean jokes told by fathers to their family. While dad might trying to be truly funny often he is just as happy with an, “Oh, Dad!” response. 

Many dad jokes may be considered intentionally unfunny. An example dad joke might go,  “I’m thirsty,” to which the dad will reply, “Hi, Thirsty, I’m Dad.”

Dad Jokes

1. What do call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face? …Too close for comfort food!

2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?… Because he was outfield.

bike

 

3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?… It was two tired!

4. I’ll call you later… Don’t call me later, call me Dad!

5. Why do melons have weddings?… Because of they cantaloupe!

6. When you see a cemetery …”Look we are in the dead center of town”.

bathrooms

 

7. You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?… European.

8. What’s brown and sticky? A Stick

9. A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection… The judge asks her, “First offender?” She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

10. So a vowel saves another vowel’s life…The other vowel says, “Aye E! I owe you!”

dads laughing

 

11. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!

12. Spring is here! I got so excited … … I wet my plants!

13. When the grocery store clerk asks me if I want the milk in a bag, I always tell him… “No, I’d rather drink it out of the carton!”

14. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!

15. I tell dad jokes but I have no kids… I’m a faux pa!

penguin

 

16. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

17. If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you… … an iWitness?!

18. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?… He couldn’t see himself doing it!

19. The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line… Only a fraction of people will understand this!

smiley

 

 

20. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?… Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the two S’s.

21.  I can’t tell if I like my new blender… It keeps giving me mixed results.

22. I love having a short son… Because he is always willing to look up to me.

23. A horse walks into a bar… The bartender says “hey”… The horse replies “sure”

dad jokes

 

24. My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

25. What do you call a fish with no eyes? … A fsh.

26. A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

27. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

28. I’m reading a book about antigravity… It’s impossible to put down!

cow

 

29. What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?…  Mulan.

30. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef!!!!!

Want some more laughs? Here are some more jokes to keep you rolling.

 

 


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