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Let your Elf On The Shelf crack your kids up with these Elf Jokes. Free printable cards for your Elf to hold will help keep this visitor from the North Pole full of shennanigans.
Looking for more activities for elf and the kids? When your elf isn’t being mischievous he can help encourage the kids to be good with these Elf on the Shelf Notes. They make elf’s job so much easier.
Elves love not only silly pranks but also Christmas jokes. These funny Elf on the Shelf jokes will keep you all laughing.
List of Elf Jokes
- What kind of music do elves like best? “Wrap” music.
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
- Why do elves make good listeners? Because they’re all ears.
- What do you call an elf who’s won the lottery? Welfy.
- Why does Santa owe everything to the elves? Because he’s an elf-made man.
- What’s Santa’s tax status? Elf-employed.
- Why kind of photographs do elves like taking? Elfies.
- What’s the first thing elves learn in school? The “elf“-abet!
- Where do elves go dancing? Christmas balls.
- What kind of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.
- What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread
- If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toe.
- What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas card.
- Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drum sticks!
- Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Download the elf jokes here
Download these funny elf jokes and print them on white cardstock in color. You will be ready to slip a joke in your elf’s arms for a laugh and an easy elf idea for the day!
I love this one! Where do elves do dancing? ………… Christmas Balls. Haha!
MORE FUNNY ELF JOKES!
- What was the name of the girl elf on the shelf? Miss Chievous.
- Where did the elf go to school? He was elf-taught.
- Why is the elf on the shelf’s favorite school subject? Spilling.
- What did the elf say when he won the lottery? Christmas be my lucky day.
- Why does the elf on the shelf do such silly things? Because he can!
- What is green, white, and red all over? An elf with a sunburn.
- What was the elf on the shelf’s favorite Olympic event? North Pole-vault
- What does the elf on the shelf use to write with on the blackboard? Chalk-olate.
- How did the elf get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? He used the elfavator.
- How did Santa describe the elf who refused to take a bath? He’s elfully smelly.
- What brand of cookies does the elf on the shelf like most? Keebler (made by elves with elfin magic)
- Why was the elf so cold on Christmas day? Because it’s in Decembrrrrr.
- Why does the elf on the shelf want to sneak into your school? To hear the ringing of the bells.
- How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders.
- What did Santa call the greedy elf? Elfish
- What kind of bread did the elf make sandwiches with? Shortbread.
- What did the elf write in Christmas cards? Hope you have a Fairy Merry Christmas.
- What was the elf’s favorite sport? Miniature golf.
- What kind of money did the elf on the shelf use?Jingle bills.How long was the elf’s legs? Long enough to reach the ground.
- What was the elf allergic to?Sh-ELF-ishWhat’s the first thing an elf learns in school? The elfabet.
- Who sang “Blue Christmas”? Elfvis.
- What did the doctor give the elf on the shelf after he hurt his leg? A Candy Cane.
- What was the elf’s favorite desert?Short Cake.
- What did the elf do to lift his self-esteem? Read a self-elf book!
- What was the elf’s reply to the person who said they had Grandma for Christmas dinner? Yuk – We had turkey.
- If there was one elf and another 11 elves joined him, what would the last elf be? The twelf.
- Why did the elf spell Christmas N-O-E? Because he overheard Santa say “No L” when he walked by.
- Why did the elf make such a good house guest? He would only stay for a short tme.
- Why was the elf so quick to anger? He had a short fuse.
- Where did Santa find the elf? On the shelf.
- Why did the elf do so poorly in school? He had a short attention span.
- What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells.
- What did the elf get when he crosses an apple and a Christmas tree? A pineapple
- What do fish call Elf shenanigans leading up to Christmas? Elf on the Shelfish.
- Where do elves vote? The North Poll.
- What’s the best way to gain confidence? To believe in your elf.
- What do vegetarian elves eat? Elfalfa.
- What did Santa tell his helpers when they listened in on his conversation? “Quit elves-dropping.”
- What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite convenience store? 7-Elelfen.
- What’s an animal that never forgets Christmas? An elfant.
- How did Santa tell his elves to check their email? “First, yule log on…”
- What do Santa’s helpers tell someone who annoys them? “Elf off.
- “What do elves say when they make mistakes? “I elfed up.
- “What does Santa use after trimming his beard? Elftershave.
- What do you do if you can’t hire a professional? Do it your elf.
- Where do elves go to get famous? Holly-wood.
- Which elf is the best jazz singer? Elfa Fitzgerald.
- If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it? Shelf it for later.
- What do Santa’s elves say whenever they take a photo? Let’s take an elfie.
- Whose music do elves like the most? Elf-is Presley.
- How did Santa get to be so famous? He’s an elf-made man.
- How did the teacher tell the elves to line up before break time at school? In elf-abet-ical order!
- What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood.
- What kind of pictures do elves love to paint? Elf-portraits!
- What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking? Kitchen u-tinsels!
- Where do elves go when they feel ill? The elf-centre!
- What sign hangs above the door of Santa’s elves’ workshop? Dance as elf there was no tomorrow!
- What do you call an elf that hides in a Christmas bakery? A mince spy!
- What do elves eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
- What does Mrs. Claus use to bake cakes? Elf-raising flour.
- What is an elf’s fav crispy snack?Jingle Pringles.
- Where do the elves and reindeer go to get hot chocolate? Star-bucks!
- What do socialist elves support? Redistribution of welf.
- What would upset a normal person but not an elf? Coming up short.
- Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital? He has private elf care.
- What is an elf’s favorite band? The Pixies.
- What happens to elves who misbehave? They get the sack.
- Where do all the elves want to play on their baseball team? Shortstop!
- Why did the elf want a wombat for Christmas? To play wom, silly!
- What do elves put on their toast? Jingle Jam
- What did the elf say after he spilled his soup? Hey everyone! Dinner is on me!
- Why shouldn’t you feed elves shellfish? It makes them crabby!
- What is an elf’s favorite positive affirmation? “I believe in my elf.”
- Why aren’t elves fat? They are elfy eaters!
- What did the elf say to the pig? Don’t hog the presents!
- Why doesn’t Father Christmas eat junk food? Because it’s bad for his elf!
- Why did the elf silence his phone? He was bored of the rings!
- What do you get if you cross one of Santa’s elves with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
- Why didn’t the elves buy Santa a gift? Because they were all out of DOE!
- What climbs trees, buries nuts & makes presents? An elf who thinks he’s a squirrel!
- Who is the elves’ favorite Christmas tree singer? Spruce Springsteen!
- What other kind of money do elves use? Cold cash!
- Why do rich elves donate to charities? They like to share the welf!
- How does Santa know if you’re naughty or nice? The elves fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la you around!
- Why doesn’t the lazy elf go to the gym? It takes a lot of elf-ort!
- What kind of motorcycle do elves ride to work? A Holly Davidson!
- What does an elf farmer call his cow? An Eskimoo.
- How did the elf get straight A’s at school? By doing his gnome-work every day!
- What is an elf’s favorite filmmaker? Elfred Hitchcock.
- Who is an elf’s favorite rapper? Too Short.
- When is the best time to give someone an elf as a gift? On the twelf night of Christmas.
- What’s another name for Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses!
- Why do Santa’s elves give Santa so much respect? They all look up to him.
- Did you hear about the elf who got pickpocketed? I had no idea it was possible to stoop so low.
- Where do you find elves? Depends where you left them!
- Why do Santa’s elves get called eves at Christmas time? Because there is Noel.
- Why does Santa shut his workshop one day every year? For an elf and safety inspection!
- How do the elves keep Kris Kringle’s sleigh COVID-free? They clean it with Santa-tizer!
- What do you call an elf who rides the subway to work? A metro-gnome!
- What do the elves call it when they all clap for their boss? Santapplause!
- What do all the elves say when Santa makes a decision? Well, he does have the final sleigh, after all!
- What else do the elves say when Santa makes a decision? Claus he said so!
- Why don’t elves read books? Because they like short stories better!
- Where do elves go to learn? Nowhere! They’re Ho-Ho-Homeschooled!
- Why did the elf put super glue on his book? He wanted a story he couldn’t put down!
- What do elves say when their teacher calls their name for attendance? Present!
- What elf has the most books? A bookshElf!
- What language did they teach the guppy at Elf School? Elfish!
- What language do they teach at Elf School? North Polish!
- What did Santa say to the sad elf? Don’t be little yourself!
- Who is the elves’ favorite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!
- What do elves sing to Frosty the Snowman to cheer him up? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow
- What do the elves like to say when they’re dancing? Shake it like a pole-oriod picture!
- What kind of mobile phones do elves use? Micro phones!
- What kind of cellphones do elves have? Sleighphones!
- What else do the elves like to say when they’re dancing? You’re sleigh-in’ it!
- Where do elves go to feel better?A n elf-farm!
- Why do elves cry? Because they are “Santa-mental”!
- What do you call an elf walking backwards? A Fle!
- Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe? It was bad for his elf!
- Did you hear about the Irish elf with a skin disease? He was a leper-chaun!
- Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor? He’s a gnome-opath!
- What do they call a wild elf in Texas? Gnome on the range!
- Where does an elf family stay when on vacation? At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
- What’s the difference between a Dwarf and an Elf? Very little!
- What kind of king does an elf like best? A stoc-king!
- What happens if an elf catches you being naughty? Yule be sorry!
- What detergent does Mrs. Claus wash the elves clothes in? Yule-Tide!
- What did The Grumpy Elf say to the Lunch Lady? Lettuce alone!
- What did The Grumpy Elf say when another elf asked him for help? Go do it your elf!
- What happened to The Grumpy Elf when he took the Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
- What’s an elf’s favorite cereal? Frosted Flakes.
- Which sort of elf makes their home in a fizzy drink can? A sprite!
- How does Santa take care of his sick helpers? He nurses them back to Elf.
- What do elves play during the summer? Little League Baseball.
- What did one angel say to the other angel? Halo-there.
- What do you call a badly behaved elf? A rebel without a Claus!
- Why did Father Christmas have to shut his workshop one day? For an elf and safety check!
- What do elves use to take photos? An Elfie Stick.
- What did Santa Claus say to the smoker? Please put that out, it’s bad for my elf.
- Why did the elf pray? He wanted to connect with his higher elf.
- What is an elf’s favorite pick-up line? Let me be your fantasy.
- What do you call an elf’s butler? Elfred.
- What does a great Christmas joke do? Sleigh you!
- What did the one elf say to the other when he looked up at the sky? It looks like rain, dear.
- What do elves make their toys with? Utinsels.
- What sickness did the elf get from making Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
- Why did Santa have to stop going down chimneys? He heard from the Elf and Safety Commission.
- What do the elves who work in Santa’s gardens do? Ho! Ho! Ho!
- Where do elves go on holiday? Santa Fe.
- What do you call it when Santa and his elves go on a big ship to the Californian coast? A Santa Cruz.
- What do you call an elf entrepreneur? A small business owner.
- What do you call a holistic elf doctor? A gnome-opath.
- Why do elves like Dolls? They can share the clothes.
- Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log!
- How do elves greet each other? Small world, isn’t it?
- What do Santa’s helpers eat to warm up? Elf-abet soup.
- What is an elf’s favorite sport? North-pole vaulting.
- Who’s Santa Claus’s favorite pop star? It’s Beyon-sleigh.
- How did the reindeer know it was going to rain? Because Rudolph the red-knows-rain, deer!
- How is Drake like an elf? He spends all his time wrapping!
- What is an elf’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
- How did Santa’s helper boost his low elf-esteem? He read an elf-help book!
- What do you say to an elf that needs to hurry up? Get a jingle on!
- Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!elf jokes
- Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto? He was being investigated by the Elf and Safety Executive!
- What do you call a house elf that edits documents? A-Dobby. (Adobe)
- What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker? Dolby.
- What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
- What did the elf say after an orc stole his Legos? I’m Legolas.
- At Santa’s workshop, there are no Christmas bonuses. Why not? Because they’re all elf-employed.
- What kind of jokes would a depressed elf tell? Elf-deprecating.
- What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist? Elrond Hubbard!
- Who lives in the North Pole, makes toys and rides in a pumpkin? Cinder-elf-a!
- What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter? Santa would never free an elf.
- What’s the best thing about working for Santa Claus? Universal elf care.
- How do elves communicate with one another? They use their elf phones.
- Why do none of the elves’ names begin with ‘S’? Because that would be selfish.
- Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars? Elfis!
- What does a diabetic elf need? Tinselin
- What’s the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf? Mensch on a bench
- What do you call a selfish elf? Myself
- Why did Santa have to close his toy factory? Elf and safety!
- How do you enslave a house elf? By doing its laundry.
- What do you call a plastic elf? Poly-mer
- How many elves does a german Santa have? Elf.
- What will Tesla build this Christmas to help Santa deliver presents?An elf driving car
- How did the elf greet the hooker?Hi hoWhat do you call an Irish elf? Dec O’ration
- How is Santa able to get his personal Christmas shopping done so quickly? He gets it right off the elf.
- What does Santa call the elf police? The Po Po Po.
Elf on the Shelf
Keeping up with this Christmas tradition is easy with all these fun Elf On The Shelf Ideas. From Elf Arrival Letters to daily pranks you will be inspired!
An Elf on the Shelf Calendar is the perfect way to kick off the holiday season.
Does your elf watch to see who is naughty or nice? There are a few cards to encourage your child and let your child know they are doing a good job!
Let your Elf encourage kindness this holiday season. These free printable cards provide a kind act to do each day.
Free printable Elf On The Shelf Kindness Cards
Want really EASY ideas. Print a whole month of ideas on post-it notes and you are ready to go.
Free printable Post-it Notes for Elf on the Shelf
More Holiday Jokes
Want to get kids laughing and having fun? These Christmas jokes include a free printable!
We love jokes at our house! If you do too, check out these kids’ jokes! If that isn’t enough laughter you will be laughing out loud with these funny jokes. In fact, we have:
Do you have a favorite elf joke? Please share in the comments. We all could use a good laugh!
I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.
Laura Reese says
This is really fun! Love it.
Cindy says
That is a clever idea to use as gift tags! So happy you liked them.
Diana says
Thanks so much for this,…..very clever indeed. I’m going to use these as gift tags this year. Its such a unique twist – and I can share it on, too. Thank you!