150+ BEST Halloween Jokes for Kids {UPDATED}

Halloween jokes are a great way to make the month of October fun and share a smile. Printable cards make it easy to slip some fun into a lunch or in a pocket to get a giggle.

Keep the Halloween spirit going strong this season, don’t forget to boo your friends! Here are all the free You’ve Been Booed Printables you will need.

I say, the more Halloween puns you can pack in, the better! These funny Halloween jokes for kids will bring a smile, and possibly a groan or two, into the day! 

Halloween Jokes

Get kids into the Halloween spirit with these Halloween jokes for kids! The best part is you can print them out and put them where they will be easily found… a drawer, notebook, lunch, etc.!

• Why is a ghost a messy eater?  He is always gobblin.
• Why don’t mummies take vacations? They are afraid they will relax and unwind.
• Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts.
• How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? At night he turns into a bat.
• What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
• Why are ghosts bad at telling lies? You can see right through them.
• What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo Boos.
• What is a ghost’s favorite street? A dead end.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
• What do spiders like to do? Fly fishing.
• What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music? Wrap music.
• What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand witch!

Halloween Lunch Box Jokes – Print for Free

Wish your kids “bone appetite” with these silly Halloween jokes!

Download and print the Halloween Jokes for kids in color on white cardstock. Cut them apart and you will be ready to slip them into your child’s lunch. With cute cartoons and awesome fonts, they make fun little lunch notes for your kids! It is so good for them to know you are thinking about them.

This post has been updated and a new file was uploaded to fix the printing issues.

More Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Kick off the fun at a Halloween party with corny Halloween jokes and puns. These jokes will help get any party started and break the ice.  You might also like to play these Halloween games at your next party and here are some easy Halloween costumes.

• What happens when two vampire bats meet? Love at first bite!
• Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!
• What does Count Dracula use to cross the sea? A blood vessel!
• Why did the Headless Horseman go into business? To get ahead in life!
• What do you call witches who live together? Broom mates!
• Why don’t mummies take the day off? They don’t want to unwind.
• Why is it so unpleasant to hang out with Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
• What does the ghost call his sweetheart? His ghoul friend.
• What does a ghost need to go spook forest creatures? A haunting license!
• Why do they put fences around the graveyard? People are dying to get in.
• Where does a vampire keep his money? A blood bank.
• What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car? Puts on his sheet belt.
• What’s a little ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream.
• What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
• What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
• How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch.
• Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie? Because it had great plots.
• What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell. 
• How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
• What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
• What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
• What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
• Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.
• How do scarecrows like to drink? With a straw.
• What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
• How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
• Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
• How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
• What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?Spooktacles.
• What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
• What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
• Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!
• What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
• Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
• What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
• What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
• How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
• Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
• Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
• What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.
• What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
• What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
• Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
• What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
• What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off!
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
• How do ghosts search the Web? They use ghoul-gle.
• Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
• Why didn’t the zombie go to school?He felt rotten!What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A cornfield!
• What type of plates do skeletons like to use? Bone china.
• What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
• What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!
• What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A Tourniquet!
• Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They’re LUMBARjacks!
• Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
• How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap!
• hy is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
• Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because they just had their brains scooped out!
• Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
• What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
• What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.
• What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-treaters if you want them to think you’re rich? A 100 grand candy bar
• What’s the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.
• Where is the best place to party on Halloween? The g-RAVE-yard.
• Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.
• What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
• Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips? It was just trying to be just like its mummy.
• Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
• What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
• Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
• Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
• Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.
• What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
• What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
• Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.
• How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
• Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
• Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
• Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
• What is a ghost’s favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.
• Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
• What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
• Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
• What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
• What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
• How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
• What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth? Fang-shui.
• What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
• What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
• What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans.
• What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
• What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy? Trike or Treat!
• Where do you find the spookiest sweets on Halloween? The ghost-ery store
• Why can’t a vampire go to a barbecue? They’re afraid of stakes.
• What does a ghoul put on its pizza? Monster-ella cheese!
• How does a ghost get its girlfriend’s attention? “Hey, boo!”
• Why do ghosts never date each other? Someone is bound to ghost.
• How do vampires like movie stars? Medium rare.
• How does Dracula stay fit? He plays bat-minton!
• Why do ghosts like sales? They’re bargain haunters!
• What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
• What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
• What game do baby ghosts like to play? Peek-a-Boo!
• What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween? Winnie the Boo!
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
• How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
• hat’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
• What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
• Why did the vampire need to wash its mouth? It had bat breath.
• Why don’t they play music in skeleton church? They don’t have organs!
• Where do mummies like to swim? The Dead Sea.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
• What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetit!
• Where do vampires eat their lunch? At the casketeria.
• What do spooks with poor eyesight wear? Spook-tacles!
• What day do ghosts do their howling? On Moan-day!
• Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house? He was homesick.
• What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
• What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
• What do ghosts turn on in summer? The scare-conditioner!
• How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
• What is a ghost’s favourite bedtime story? Little Boo Peep!
• What did the wizard say to the twin witches? Which witch is which?
• Why did Dr Jekyll cross the road? To get to the other Hyde!
• What game do young ghosts love? Hide and shriek!
• What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo!
• What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Potato ships!
• What do devil’s drink? Demonade.
• What kind of cheese do monster’s eat? Monsterella!
• What did the baby zombie want for her birthday? A deady bear.
• What is Dracula’s favourite ice-cream flavour? Vein-illa!
• What do baby ghosts wear on their little feet? Booties!
• How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle her funnybone.
• What song do vampires hate? You Are My Sunshine!
• What is the first sign your house is haunted? Your sheets are missing.
• What do black cats like to eat on hot days? Mice cream cones.
• What kind of underwear do mummies wear? Fruit of the Tomb.
• What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!
• What do you call a mummy eating in bed? A crummy mummy.
• What does it take to become a zombie? Deadication.
• Where do ghosts mail letters? The ghost office.

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

How about a funny Halloween knock-knock joke?

• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Please, Phillip my bag with Halloween candy.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Come on, candy door open any slower?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, I’m just a trick or treater!
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me Halloween candy?
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Wanda! Wanda who? Wanda go trick or treating tonight?
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice Cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost! 

Halloween Dad Jokes

Are you a fan of puns and dad jokes? You know those jokes where everyone rolls their eyes. I think every dad thinks they tell the best jokes.

• What room is left out of a ghost’s house? The living room.
• Where do ghosts go on vacation? Lake Erie.
• What do skeletons order at restaurants?  Spare ribs
• What Would you find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch! 
• Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they are too wrapped up in themselves.

More Jokes for Kids

Don’t miss these other silly kids jokes! Brighten up someone’s day with a surprise joke. All these jokes are on little cards perfect for school lunches and fun hiding spots.

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• Funny jokes to share so you can spread the laughter in any situation. What are your best funny kids jokes? Leave a comment and share your corny hits!