Winter Jokes

When the days become shorter and the temperatures begin to drop, it’s time to turn to winter jokes for a little lighthearted fun. We all need a dose of laughter during the cold season, so here is an extensive list of winter jokes that will put a smile on your face! Read on for some silly puns, festive one-liners, and hilarious icebreakers that are sure to break the winter chill. Have fun!

1. Why do skeletons hate winter? They get chilled to the bone.
2. What can you catch in the winter, even with your eyes closed? A cold.
3. What do you call a ghost in the winter? Casp-brrr.
4. Why did the chicken cross the road? He was walking south for the winter.
5. What do you call a slow skier? A SLOPEpoke!
6. Where does a snowman get the weather report? The winternet.
7. What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf? A brrrr-grrr.
8. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
9. How do snowmen read their texts? With an icy stare.
10. Why did the husband pour warm water on his computer? He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze.
11. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Can you smell carrot?”
12. How did Batman get to the Penguins hideout? He took his snowmobile.
13. What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter? Frosted Flakes!
14. Why did the bear keep getting fired? He always disappeared in the winter.
15. What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing? “Freeze!”
16. How do mountains stay warm in winter? They put on their snowcaps.
17. What did the tree say after a long, cold winter? What a re-leaf!
18. What does a barbershop serve in winter? Cold cuts!
19. Why was the king penguin’s wife so misunderstood? She was a total ice queen.
20. Why do bears hibernate in winter? So they don’t Netflix and chill.
21. Why didn’t the whistleblower go outside during the winter? He was Snowden.
22. Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm? He was feeling under the weather.
23. Who were Frosty’s parents? Mom and Pop-sicle.
24. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!”
25. Why are winter days great? They’re snow much fun!
26. Why do bears like dogs in the winter? Because they are chilly dogs.
27. What do you get when you milk a cow in the winter? Ice cream.
28. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
29. Why was the blanket discouraged? The snuggle is real.
30. When is a polar bear not a polar bear? When it’s in a grizzly mood.
31. What do you call drag racing in the winter? Snow drifting.
32. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? Owlgebra.
33. Why is Frosty never late? Time waits for snow man.
34. What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.
35. What do you call a glove combined with a snake? Smitten.
36. What do you call an Eskimo cow? An Eskimoo.
37. What do bears have in their homes? Fir-nature.
38. How do polar bears make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
39. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
40. How do you build a snow fort? You igloo it together.
41. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? She liked playing cool jazz.
42. Did you hear about the lisping snowman? He came, the thaw, he conquered.
43. What happened when an icicle landed on the girl’s head? It knocked her out cold!
44. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
45. What do you call a messy storm? A squall-or.
46. Why do reindeer have fur coats? Because they look silly in snow suits.
47. What do snowmen call their offspring? CHILLdren.
48. What’s an ig? A snow house without a loo!
49. Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
50. Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking? Their dishes are best served cold.
51. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum? A meltdown.
52. Why do musicians like the winter? So they can play cool jazz.
53. Why are snowflakes like fingerprints? They are one of a kind.
54. What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib? A snowmobile.
55. What do you call a snowman with abs? An abdominal snowman.
56. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
57. Why did the groom have cold feet? He went brrr-foot to the wedding!
58. What do mountains wear to stay warm? Snowcaps.
59. What did the sign say in the reindeer stable? “There’s snow place like home.”
60. What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake.
61. Why is Vanilla Ice popular in the winter? Ice Ice baby.
62. Why did the bird get lost when flying south for winter? She was a Tern.
63. How do musicians keep the beat in winter? With a cold snap.
64. What do you call a penguin with no eye? A pengun.
65. What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees? “It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
66. How do you call a cab in winter? You hail it.
67. What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist? Frozen-T.
68. What do computers wear in the winter? Snow-boots.
69. What do you call a female wind? Gale.
70. What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
71. What is red, white, and blue over winter break? A sad candy cane.
72. What is a snowman’s favorite game? Ice Spy.
73. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming? No privacy.
74. Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt? Aunt Arctica!
75. What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer? I.C.
76. What do you call a reindeer without eyes? No eye deer (no idea).
77. What do snowmen do on Christmas? Play with snow angels.
78. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They’re both below C level!
79. What does Frosty’s mom put on her face at night? Cold cream.
80. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fake!
81. How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story? A bit shaken up!
82. What do you call it when a reindeer ignores you? The cold shoulder.
83. What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? “You hang around while I go on a-head.”
84. What do you call a play or musical in the North Pole? Snow business.
85. What does the snowman take when he’s worried about melting? A chill pill.
86. How do snowmen pay their bills? With cold hard cash.
87. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert? Lost.
88. If a winter fox lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one? A retail store.
89. What did the snowman order at Wendy’s? A Frosty.
90. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? Iced tea.
91. What is a snowman’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats.
92. Where do snowmen put their money? In snow banks.
93. Why did the hipster keep his iPod outside during the winter? Because he liked to listen to cool music.
94. What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his icebergers? Chilly sauce.
95. What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy.
96. What do you call 10 Arctic hares hopping backward through the snow together? A receding hare line.
97. What sort of cakes do snowmen like? Any cake with lots of icing.
98. What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? “Have an ice day!”
99. What did the icy road say to the truck? Want to go for a spin?
100. What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
101. Where do snowmen love to dance? At a snow ball.
102. Why does everybody love winter? Because it’s snow much fun!
103. How do people say their prayers in winter? Hail Mary.
104. Did you hear about the scarecrow in winter? He was Ice-solated.
105. What do you send to a sick friend in winter? A get well soon card-igan.
106. Why did the winter Olympian pick his nose? He had a Luge-e.
107. Why don’t people sunbathe in the winter? It’s a bit nipply.
108. Why is blackcurrant the fastest sorbet to eat? It’s made of blackice.
109. How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers? “Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”
110. Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole? On a map.
111. How do you prevent a summer cold? Catch it in the winter!
112. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
113. How do you know when it’s too cold for a picnic? When you chip your tooth on the soup!
114. What happens when the snowman cannot see properly? The snowman rubs his ice!
115. Why can’t the snow climb up a ladder? Because the snow falls.
116. What happened when an icicle landed on the snowman’s head? It knocked him out cold.
117. Why do seals like to swim in saltwater? Because they don’t really like chilly water.
118. How did the archer shoot arrows in the cold weather? He used the snowbows.
119. Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake? Because snow man’s an island.
120. How do you know that a snowman was in your home? You find a carrot in a puddle next to the fireplace.
121. Why did the boy only wear one snow boot? He heard there was a 50 percent chance of snow.
122. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frost bites.
123. What advice should you give to snow moving to the big city? “Flake it till you make it.”
124. What does December have that no other month does? The letter D.
125. How did the snowglobe feel after hearing a scary story? A bit shaken up.
126. What does a Starbucks employee’s job title change to in winter? A brrrr-ista!
127. What do you call a skeleton that goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
128. How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you.
129. Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
130. Why do polar bears live alone? They like to ice-olate themselves.
131. Why did the two snowmen divorce? One thought the other was a flake.
132. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? You have to hollow out the head.
133. What do you call a photo of the North Pole? A polar-oid.
134. What did the man say from outside the window? “Icy you!”
135. How do you keep from getting cold feet? Don’t go around brrfooted!
136. What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves.
137. What’s a good winter tip? Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
138. Why are snowmen great at parties? They always break the ice.
139. How does a snowman convince someone he’s serious? “Snow joke!”
140. Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter? On the outside.
141. Where do seals go to see movies? The dive-in!
142. Why did the snowman turn yellow? Ask the dog.
143. How do you get a snow monster to go away? Get into a heated argument.
144. Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in winter? She was no spring chicken!
145. How do you decorate a snowman’s birthday cake? With lots of icing.
146. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty the Dough-man.
147. What did the salad say to get inside? “Lettuce in! It’s freezing out here!”
148. Who’s at the door? It’s snowbody.
149. Why don’t penguins fly? They’re not tall enough to be pilots.
150. What do you call a penguin that steals calamari? A squid-napper.
151. What’s the best self-defense against an angry snowman? A hairdryer.
152. What’s a sled dog’s favorite time at school ?Snow-and-tell.
153. Why do mummies like holiday gifts? Because of all the wrappings.

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