Mom Jokes are hilarious because they are so true! Moms are superheroes without capes and we make excellent subjects for the jokes, sayings, and truisms you’ll find here.

Here at Skip to My Lou, I know the value of laughing so hard my stomach hurts. And I know how good it feels to laugh with my family. So thank you for being here today and I hope you find lots of things that make you giggle!

nothing is lost until your mom can't find it

Mom Jokes

  1. The fastest way to spread news isn’t on the internet. It’s by telling your mom.
  2. You know you are a mom when…silence isn’t golden; it’s suspicious.
  3. If a mom doesn’t have a used gift bag full of other used gift bags, is she even a mom?
  4. Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.
  5. To Mom: “I’m bored!”, “I’m tired!”, “I’m hungry!”, “I can’t find my shoes!”,  “Where are you?” To Dad: “Where’s mommy?”
  6. Motherhood is when changing out of pj’s to get into yoga pants can qualify as “getting dressed.
  7. Nothing is truly lost until Mom can’t find it.
  8. A police officer was asked what they would do if they had to arrest their mother. They responded that they would call for backup!j
  9. What did the digital clock say to its mom? “Look, mom! No hands!”
  10. It’s spicy: universal Mom Code for ‘I don’t want to share.’
  11. I’d love to be a Pinterest mom, but it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.
  12. You know you are a mom when…you see a smear of brown on your shirt and you have to smell it to see if it’s chocolate or poop.
  13. What three words solve dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.
  14. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Their kids have to play inside!
  15. How many moms does it take to change the lightbulb in the bathroom? One, of course, and she’ll do it, otherwise it won’t get changed, ever!
  16. I’m fairly certain Moms are just a part of a scientific experiment to prove that sleep is not needed in order to survive.
  17. Mom’s casseroles come in two sizes: not enough and enough to feed an army with leftovers.
  18. Your nickname is Mom. But your real name is Mooooooooom!
  19. You know you are a mom when…you understand on a deep level why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
  20. Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
  21. If first you don’t succeed try doing it the way mom told you in the beginning.if at first you don't succed try doing it the way mom told you to in the beginning
  22. What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.
  23. Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales? Because mothers are priceless.
  24. Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.
  25. You know you are a mom when…being alone in your car is the most exciting part of your day.
  26. What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.
  27. Why did the mom cross the road? To get some peace and quiet!
  28. Good moms let their kids lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first.
  29. Motherhood is like a fairy tale but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
  30. Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.
life doesn't come with a manual it comes with a mother

More Mom Jokes! (Updated)

  1. What did Mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
  2. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!
  3. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
  4. Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!
  5. Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.
  6. Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.
  7. Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue!
  8. What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.
  9. What do you call a mom who can’t draw? Tracy.
  10. Why did the boy put the Mother’s Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.
  11. What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother’s Day? Starbucks.
  12. What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.
  13. What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.
  14. What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.
  15. What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s Day.
  16. What did the digital clock say to its analog mother? Look, Mom! No hands!
  17. What’s the difference between Superman and mothers? Superman is a superhero when he has to be. Moms are superheroes all the time.
  18. What kind of boat is barely staying afloat yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship.
  19. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
  20. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
  21. How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the mooote button.
  22. Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-Mom Prime.
  23. What is a mom’s favorite flower? Chrysanthemoms.
  24. Why did the Mother’s Day gift arrive the day after Mother’s Day? It was choco-late.
  25. Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.
  26. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!
  27. Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.
  28. What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
  29. What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.
  30. What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother’s Day when she was about to do the dishes? Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning.
  31. How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.
  32. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep!
  33. Mom, I need my personal space! You came out of my personal space.
  34. What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother? Call for backup.
  35. What did the mama say to the foal? It’s pasture your bedtime.
  36. When is the boiling point reached? When my mother sees my report card!
  37. What warm drink helps mom relax? Calm-omile tea.
  38. How do you get the kids to be quiet? Say, “Mum’s the word.”
  39. Why did the mommy horse want to race on a rainy day? She was a mudder.
  40. What do you call a mom who isn’t around much and can’t seem to get their underwear into the hamper? Dad.
  41. How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done.
  42. What is a jumper? Something you wear when your mother gets cold.
  43. What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
  44. What did the mother rope say to her child? Don’t be knotty.
  45. When did you know you were a mother? When I realized 90 percent of my day was locating someone else’s lost crap.
  46. How do you weigh a millennial? In Instagrams.
  47. What did the accountant say while making breakfast for her kids? This whole parenting thing is taxing.
  48. What’s a mom joke? Look in the mirror, kiddo.
  49. What’s it like to have the best daughter in the world? You’ll have to ask grandma!
  50. Mom, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
  51. Why do some couples go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.
  52. When does a joke become a mom joke? When it becomes apparent.
  53. What did the drummer call her two daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
  54. Why do moms feel the need to tell such bad jokes? We just want to help you become a groan up.
  55. Are my kids perfect? No, but we can blame dad for that one!
  56. How old are you again? I’ve lost track at this point.
  57. How many moms does it take to get you to clean your room? One, but it takes 18 years!
  58. What does the mom diet consist of? All of the foods her kids can’t finish.
  59. What do Italian kids say to their moms? Mama mia, you make the best food!
  60. What’s it like living with kids? Well, it’s never mum-dane.
  61. My son asked one of those hard first questions—”Why am I here?” I thought about it for a minute and then replied—“To clean for mommy.”
  62. What did the hermit crabs do on Mother’s Day? They shellabrated their mommy.
  63. Why is the word “mom” a palindrome? Because our days look almost identical from front to back.
  64. Just Do It” is Nike’s motto. So what’s the motto of every mom of a feisty toddler? Don’t Do That!
  65. Mom, stop you are not funny. You never make good jokes. I made you.
  66. How to bake with toddlers? Don’t.
  67. Ever heard of a job that requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing, and you can’t quit? That’s motherhood. Oh, and people’s lives are on the line.
  68. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
  69. What’s a mama astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar.
  70. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
  71. What kind of flowers do yellow jacket mothers like for Mother’s Day? Bee-gonias.
  72. Why did you chop the joke book in half? Mom said to cut the comedy.
  73. What is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.” It’s spicy.
  74. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Pop corn?
  75. Why did the children give their mom a blanket for Mother’s Day? Because they thought she was the coolest mom.
  76. When does Mother’s Day come before St. Patrick’s Day? In the dictionary!
  77. What did Timmy say to his mother when she set up his favorite feast for him? You’re so grand, ma!
  78. What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars
  79. What did the mother say to the baby corn before it was time to go to school? Have an a-maiz-ing day!
  80. Why couldn’t mom put her crochet project down on Mother’s Day? She was hooked on it.
  81. What is the name of the angry mother of a pea? Grump-pea!
  82. Why did the banana mom go to visit a doctor? Because she was not peeling well
  83. Where did the mother corn send her children to study? In the sili-corn valley
  84. Why did corn mom get dressed up? She had a cornball to attend at the school.
  85. What is every mother’s favorite holiday destination? Baha-mas
  86. Why don’t mothers wear watches? There’s a clock on the stove.
  87. What was the name of the singer that mother liked the most? Hannah Mom-tana
  88. What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost? I want my mummy
  89. Where did the cow family go on Mother’s Day? The moo-vies
  90. Who granted the fish a wish? The fairy codmother
  91. What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel? Don’t use that tone with me.
  92. What did the Egyptian family do on Mother’s Day? Brought their mummy breakfast in bed
  93. What did the children say to their mother to wish her a happy mother’s day? They said, “Have a mom-entous Mother’s day.”
  94. What did mommy pig put on her Mother’s Day pancakes? Hog cabin syrup
  95. What did Eeyore say to his mom on Mother’s Day when he served her breakfast in bed? I hope thistle makes you happy.
  96. Why did the mother needle get angry with the baby needle? Because she got late, and it was past her thread-time!
  97. What did the kittens give their mom for Mother’s Day? A subscription to Good Mousekeeping
  98. What has a long plume, wings, and wears a red bow? A Mother’s Day pheasant
  99. What did the mother say when her child was not trying to eat veggies? Peas give them a chance.
  100. What did the child say after having her favorite sandwiches made by her mom? She said, “This may sound cheesy, but you are grate.”
  101. What magazine did the mommy cow read while her calves made a Mother’s Day brunch? Cows-mopolitan.
  102. How is it that bat mothers sleep upside down? Well, they get the hang of it!
  103. How did everyone react when the mother wanted to have a snack party in the neighborhood? Everybody chipped in for mom.
  104. What did the Martians wear to Mother’s Day dinner?Spacesuits.What do young computers do on Mother’s Day? Give memory cards to their motherboards.
  105. How did the panda open her Mother’s Day card? With her bear hands
  106. What did a snake mother want her baby snake to become once he grows up? A civil serpent
  107. What did the two moms eat when they hang out together? M & M’s
  108. Why didn’t the teddy bear’s mommy want a big meal on Mother’s Day? She was already stuffed!
  109. What did Bruce Wayne’s mommy put over his crib?A bat mobileWhat did the baby light bulb say to the mommy light bulb? I love you, watts and watts!
  110. How do piglets wake their mama up on Mother’s Day? With hogs and kisses
  111. What was the mother preparing to give the father for their wedding anniversary? A mom-ologue
  112. When would you hit a Mother’s Day cake with a hammer? When it’s a pound cake
  113. Why do mother spiders spend most of their time on the web? Because they learn stitching from the internet
  114. What did a beaver say to her mother? She said, “Mom, you are the best; there is no otter like you.
  115. Where do all the mother cars carry their baby cars? On their mother hood!.
  116. How did the alien boy write her Mother’s Day poem? In uni-verses
  117. What do kids use to measure the temperature of the body when falling sick? Ther-mom-meter!
  118. What’s the best thing a new mom can get for Mother’s Day? A long nap
  119. What dessert did the mommy cat get after her Mother’s Day dinner? Chocolate Mouse
  120. Why was the Mother’s Day cake so hard? It was a marble cake.
  121. Why did the sea captain’s mommy go out on Mother’s Day?T o shop the sails
  122. What should you make mom for dinner on Mother’s Day? Anything you want – she’s just happy that she doesn’t have to make it!
  123. Why was mom so happy to go to IHOP for pancakes on Mother’s Day? She knew she wouldn’t have to do any dishes.
  124. What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother’s Day? She was still in her paw-jamas
  125. What did the banana’s mommy get on Mother’s Day? Slippers
  126. Why do sons love Mother’s Day so much? Because it’s always on son day (Sunday)
  127. What did a koala bear say to her mother after returning home after many years? I will stick around this and will spend some koala-ty time with you, mom.
  128. What did the daughter say to her mom after gifting her flowers for Mother’s day? She said, “I don’t say this a lot, but I am so happy to be or-chid
  129. Which movie is the most favorite of mothers? Mamma Mia!
  130. How do all the children’s parents dress up during Halloween? As Mummy and deadies
  131. hat did the mother shark say to her baby shark? Just watch your shark-asm, young boy!
  132. Why is cleaning with children a tough job for moms to do? Because it is like cleaning teeth with Oreos
  133. Which city is every mother’s favorite? Mom-te Carlo
  134. How do you organize a space-themed party? You PLANET
  135. Mum, am I ugly? I told you not to call me mum in public!
  136. How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle? It was way past its threadtime!
  137. What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet? We’re gonna have a BB!
  138. Motherhood is fun and all… But, have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?
  139. Mom, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
  140. What time did mom go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
  141. Roses are red. Violets are blue. My mom’s jokes are funnier than you!
  142. Motherhood has shown me that you don’t need fun to have alcohol.
  143. Googled all my symptoms. It turns out I have kids.
  144. Son: “Mom, can I get $20?” Mom: “Does it look like I’m made of money?” Son: “Isn’t that what M.O.M. stands for?”
  145. When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
  146. Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories…of me yelling at them to clean up the mess.
  147. Ironically, we celebrate the kid on the anniversary of the day the mom did all the work.
  148. May your coffee be stronger than your toddler.
  149. “Look at me, mommy!” is the toddler equivalent to “hold my beer.”
  150. I love all my children equally. Except for the one who sleeps. I love that one more.
  151. Mommy doesn’t have a favorite child—you all annoy me equally.
  152. Being a mother of a teenager is finally understanding why some animals eat their young.
  153. Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
  154. Silence is golden. Unless you have kids Then silence is suspicious.
  155. You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal but necessary.
  156. A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40. I said no, 40 babies are enough.
  157. You know it’s time to clean out the diaper bag when you put it on the front seat, and your car assumes it’s a person not wearing a seat belt.
  158. Important truth no one wants to tell you: Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers.
  159. I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
  160. Nothing is really lost until Mom can’t find it.
  161. Finally my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls.
  162. Babies are those adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
  163. Caffeine is the foundation of my food pyramid since I became a mom.
  164. The closest a mum get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher smacks in her face.
  165. Can’t believe I shared my body with a child that won’t even share an M&M.
  166. Do not fear child birth, that is the easy part. There is no epidural for motherhood.
  167. What did the child say when their mom gave them grilled cheese? This might be cheesy, but I think you are grate.
  168. What kind of bags do moms collect? Eye bags.

This Joke’s for you

There are more jokes to laugh at! Check these out!

Any pirates in your family? Here’s one for them. Why was it hard for the pirate to call his mom on Mother’s Day? Because she left the phone off the hook!

Laughter is underrated as a cure for the blues! Just in case you need one more giggle…. What did the Mommy Spider say to the baby spider? You spend too much time on the web!

More Fun Mom Ideas!

Here at Skip to My Lou, I’ve curated lots of lovely ideas for your mom! And remember, moms love to be appreciated anytime! Every day can be Mummy’s Day!

I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.

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