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Dog Jokes capture the spirit of all of the silly, goofy dogs in our lives. Whether you are currently a dog owner or looking for your new best friend, please enjoy these cute canine cackles!
Here at Skip to My Lou, laughter is on my menu every day and I hope you include it on yours, too! Take a look at Chemistry Jokes and Mom Jokes for more giggles.
Funny Dog Jokes
- When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get? A cockerpoodledoo!
- Which dog breed is Dracula’s favorite? Bloodhounds
- A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? Amazing, right? How about a drink?” The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.”
- Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make both ends meet.
- What could be more incredible than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
- What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A: A friend you can count on.
- What breed of dog goes after anything that is red? Bulldog
- What did the one dog say to the other before they enjoyed their bones? Bon appetite!
- What did the Dalmatian say after he ate his yummy dog dinner? MMM, that hit the spots!
- What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog? Come on! Join the bark side.
- What do you call a dog that can’t bark? A hushpuppy.
- When you cross a Rottweiler with a hyena, what do you get? I’m not sure, but if it begins laughing, I’m going to join in.
- Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade? Because it was a hot dog.
- Our dog brings us the newspaper every day…Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any!
- Why do dogs love smartphones? Because they have collar IDs.
- Why can’t dalmatians play hide and seek? Because they are always spotted.
- After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody? You got a friend in me.
- What is a pug’s favorite fall beverage? Pug-kin spice lattes.
- When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him? Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
- What do you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold for an extended period of time? A chili-dog
- Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road? She was given a ticket for littering.
- Why are dogs terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet.
- In English class, why do dogs like conjunctions? Because dogs love buts.
- How can you tell if you have a lazy dog? He only chases parked cars.
- Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? Because you might step in a poodle.
- What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school? Their masters
- What do you call young dogs who play in the snow? Slush puppies
- Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
- Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? It was a dog and pony show.
- I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except…The bark is much quieter.
- Want to know if your wife or your dog loves you more? Just lock them both in a crate for a few hours and see which one is happy to see you once you open it.
- What do you call a magician’s dog? A Labracadabrador.
- What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise? Flea markets. 23.
- What type of dog is constantly aware of the time? A watch dog.
- What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? Ruff! Ruff!
- What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? A CAT-has-trophy.
- What do you when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower.
- Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple? A New Yorkie.
- What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster? He was Terrier-fied,
- Why can’t dogs work the TV remote? Because they always hit the paws button.
- Why are dogs’ barks so loud? They have built n sub-woofer.
- What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
- What do dogs order at movie theaters? Pupcorn.
- What did the waiter tell the dog at the restaurant? “Bone-appetite”!
- What do you do when your dog chews up your dictionary? You take the words right out of its mouth.
- What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!
- What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni pizza!
- What type of market should you never take your dog to? A flea market!
- What do you get when you cross a frog with a dog? A croaker spaniel.
- Which dog breed loves to take a bath. A shampoodle.
More Dog Jokes (Updated)
- What do you call sleeping puppies? Hush Puppies
- What’s the coolest dog? A pup-sicle
- Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because frost bites
- Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker? Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
- What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog? Roll over!
- Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? He was trying to make both ends meet!
- Why is it called a litter of puppies? Because they’ll trash the place.
- Why is a noisy yappy dog like a tree? They both have a lot of bark.
- What do dogs eat for breakfast? Pooched eggs.
- Why was the dog such a good storyteller? He knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
- What’s a dog’s favorites instrument? A trom-bone.
- Why doesn’t anyone wants to work for dogs? Because they hound their employees.
- Where did the dog leave his car? In the barking lot.
- Why do dogs like conjunctions? They just love buts.
- What did the dog say to the tree? Bark
- What do you call a dog with a surround sound system? A sub-woofer.
- What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones? They barium.
- Why did the dog walk into the saloon? He was looking for the man who shot his paw.
- How does a dog stop a TV show? He presses paws.
- What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee? A greyhound buzz.
- What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? Her pet-degree.
- What do you call a left-handed boxer? A south paw!
- What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary? Take the words out of his mouth!
- What did one flea say to the other? Should we walk or take a dog?
- How did the little scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!
- What do you call a wild dog that meditates? Aware wolf.
- Who is the dog’s favorite comedian? Growlcho Marx.
- What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver.
- Why did the dog cross the road twice? He was trying to fetch a boomerang.
- What looks like a dog, eats dog food, lives in a doghouse, and is very dangerous? A dog with a machete.
- Why was the dog stealing shingles? He wanted to become a woofer!
- What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? He stole the show!
- What is a dog dentist’s favorite tooth? The canine.
- What is a dog’s favorite song to listen to after a bath? “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.
- What kind of dog is most like a cat? A Purr-man Shepherd.
- What does a dog stay in when she goes camping? A pup-up tent.
- Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side? He’s in puppy love!
- What genre of music do young dogs like the best? Pup music.
- How do dogs say goodbye? Chow Chow!
- Which dog breed has never done anything wrong? Saint Bernard.
- If they were to cast only dogs in movies, who would play Harry Potter? Spaniel Radcliffe.
- Which type of dog is also a lamb?Sheepdogs!
- What do dog lovers wrap around themselves when it gets cold outside? A nice warm Setter.
- Why is my dog’s back always sore? He’s a Mastiff.
- Which dog is the quietest? The Alaskan Malamute.
- What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel? He was a Labra-doorman.
- What kind of dog should you use to help unlock a door? An A-key-ta.
- What do you call a dog that does yoga? A Foldin’ Retriever.
- When you put oil on a racing dog, what do you get? Grease Lightning
- What kind of dog never throws anything away? A Hoarder Collie.
- How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard? Put him in your backyard!
- Why do dogs need a license but cats don’t? Cats can’t drive!
- How do you stop a dog from smelling? Cover his nose!
- Why do dogs run in circles? It’s hard to run in squares!
- Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road? Because she was littering.
- How do dog catchers get paid? By the pound!
- What do puppies and pages of a book have in common? They’re both dog-eared.
- Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores? To the lab for testing.
- When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get? A lot of bites.
- Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny? All of them are really short.
How to Use Dog Jokes
Do you know fellow dog lovers who would love these jokes? Print them and share! These make great ice breakers before meetings. Your vet’s office would appreciate these, too! How will you use these? Dogs are funny in different ways, you will know just which joke goes for whom!
Silly Dog Jokes lead to more fun Jokes
Don’t know about you, but I can look at my dog laying on her bed upside down, belly up, tongue out and bust out laughing. Then her tail starts banging on the floor and oh my! In case your four-legged friend doesn’t get you laughing, I’ve included lots more jokes below!
- 100+ Hilarious Jokes, Kid Approved
- Over 100 FUNNY Jokes to Make You Laugh
- Funny Food Jokes to Print and Share
- 50+ Funniest Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
- Birthday Jokes
More Dog Themed Activities
After you have enjoyed the dog puns, I have you covered from hot dogs to a homemade dog birthday cake to drawing and coloring. I hope you enjoy my dog-themed ideas to celebrate man’s best friend!
I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.
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