150+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes

Birthday Jokes are my newest collection of funny jokes for kids of all ages, including some Birthday puns!

Funny Birthday Jokes are just a few of my joke collections here at Skip to My Lou! So, you’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine and I firmly believe in that kind of medicine! For more groans and giggles, try these joke collections: Dog Jokes and Chemistry Jokes.

Happy Birthday Jokes

How come you didn’t get me a birthday present? You did say I should surprise you, right?
What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
What kind of birthday does the Snow Queen like? Any birthday with frosting and icing!
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
Why do all of my relatives keep reminding me how old I am on my birthday? Because age is a relative thing.
What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.
Why did the birthday boy smash his cake with a hammer? Because it was a pound cake.
Did you hear about the birthday candle sale? It was a big blowout!
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish the moment.
What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like? I scream cake.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Did you hear what happened between sugar and cream at the birthday party? It was the icing on the cake.
What was the elephant’s birthday wish? A trunk full of gifts.
How can you tell if a birthday cake is sad? If it’s in tiers.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why do candles have such a good time at birthday parties? They love getting lit!
Why are birthdays good for your health? Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays actually live longer.
What did the cheese say to his friend on his birthday? “Hope you have a gouda birthday!”
Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday? She was feeling a little hoarse.
Why don’t kids remember much about their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present.
Which side is the left side of a birthday cake? The side that hasn’t been eaten yet.
What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? “No thanks, I’m stuffed.”
What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover? Choco-latte.
What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday? Have a fin-tastic day.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon a cake for your birthday.
What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce join you for birthday cake.
Why don’t owls give each other birthday gifts? Because they don’t give a hoot!
Happy Birthday to a man of few words or as I like to call you…Silent But Dadly!
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. “Oh, I don’t know”, she said, “Just give me something with diamonds”. That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven? Angel food cake.
Wine improves with age. We improve with wine.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
Did you hear about the tree’s birthday? A: It was a sappy one!
What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? Aye-matey!
What did the boy say when his parents hired a clown for his birthday party? Thanks, I really appreciate the jester.
Where can you find the best birthday present ideas for cats? In cat-alogues.
What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb as a present for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream? You’re so cool!
What type of birthday celebration only happens in the bathroom? A birthday potty!
How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? A: He had a whale of a time.
What do cats like to eat with their birthday cakes? Mice cream.
Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday? She was feeling a little hoarse.
What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus have in common?
What goes up and never comes down? Your age.
Why do kangaroos celebrate their birthdays once every four years? They only get to celebrate them on leap years.
Why don’t kids remember much about their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present
What kind of music is bad for balloons? Pop music.
What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? Yay, it’s roar birthday!
Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Did you hear about the tree’s birthday party? Things got pretty sappy!
What does a clam do on his birthday? It shellebrates!
Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat birthday cake? They always forget to take off the candles.
What does it mean if no one shows up to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it, too
What’s something you get for your birthday every year, aside from cake and presents? Another year older.
Why did the birthday girl feel so warm at her birthday party? People kept toasting her!
Why did the boy soap as a birthday present? Because it was a soaprize party!
Why is it a good idea to become friends with babies? It means you’ll get free cake once a year on their birthday for the rest of your life.
What’s the fanciest kind of birthday party you can throw for a dog? A ball.What do you get a hunter as a birthday present?A birthday pheasant.
Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock? It was a marble cake.
Why did the woman celebrate her birthday for only 30 seconds? It was her 32nd birthday.
What should you give a dragon for its birthday? I’m not sure, but you’d better hope he’ll like it!
Why do all of my relatives keep reminding me how old I am on my birthday? Because age is a relative thing.
What should you say to a fish on its birthday? Hope you have a fin-tastic birthday!
Why is a birthday cake like playing baseball? They both need batters.
What did the cake say to the birthday girl? You wanna piece of me?
What is no cat birthday party complete without? Mewsic.
Why does the room get brighter on your birthday every year? All of the candles on your birthday cake light things up!
What do you call a sick birthday cake? Coughee cake
When is a birthday cake similar to a golf ball? When it’s sliced.
What did the fork ask the sad birthday cake? What’s eating you up?
What did one spouse say to the other when they started doing dishes on their birthday? You really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday! You can just do them tomorrow.
Why don’t kids remember much about their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present.
What did the horse wish for on its birthday? A stable economy.
Does one type of birthday candle burn longer than another? No, they all burn shorter.
What did the hippie to her birthday party guests while she was serving cake? May piece be with you.
What did one candle say to the other? Don’t birthdays just light you up?
Why was the pig in the kitchen on its birthday? He was bacon himself a birthday cake.
Was anyone famous born on your birthday? No, just a bunch of babies.
Why do people put candles on top of birthday cakes? Because you can’t put them on the bottom.
Why couldn’t the science teacher come up with a good birthday joke? Because all of the good ones Argon.
Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday? Someone gave him a red card.
What happens when a husband asks his wife for a Segway as his birthday present? She just changes the topic.
Why do tennis balls whisper happy birthday to each other? They don’t want to make a racquet.
What is Elsa from Frozen’s favorite part of a birthday cake? The icing.
Where do kids get ice cream cakes on their birthday? At sundae school.
How do you know when you’re officially old? When it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Happy birthday!
Why should you put your birthday cake in the freezer before the party? To give it more ice-ing.
What didn’t the teddy bear eat cake on its birthday? He was already stuffed!
What did the snowman say to the birthday girl? Have an ice day!
Why couldn’t the knot go to his friend’s birthday party? He was all tied up.
What should you say if someone gives you dirt or sand on your birthday? I appreciate the sediment.
How old was the caveman on his birthday?Stone AgeWhy did the cupcake go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
What kind of birthday cake will you find in the garbage? A stomach-cake!
What is Moby Dick’s favorite way to celebrate his birthday? By having a whale of a party.
What is a bee’s favorite day of the year?It’s bee-day!What’s a sure sign you’re getting older? When you and your teeth don’t sleep together.
What will happen if you invite a thief to your birthday party? They will take the cake!
What do cows sing at birthday parties? Happy Birthday to mooooo
What did one frog say to the other on its birthday? Hope your birthday is toad-ally awesome!
What food can someone blow on, but everyone still wants to eat? A birthday cake.
How do you know you’re no longer a spring chicken? Because your birthday is in autumn.
What gets better with every birthday? Wine—and you!
What did the toilet paper do when his friends threw him a surprise birthday party? He just rolled with it.
What’s the best thing to say to a cheese-lover on their birthday? Hap-brie birthday!
What did one chicken say to the other on its birthday? I hope you have an egg-cellent birthday!
Why didn’t cavemen send birthday cards? The amount of postage needed to mail rocks got too expensive.
What should you say to a birthday girl or guy who’s worried about turning older? Cheer up! Old age doesn’t last that long.
How do you know when you’re getting too old? When the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up? A light bulb.
What did the 99-year-old wish for on their birthday? To be younger!
What did the ocean say to the birthday boy? Nothing, it just waved.
What do you get when you eat an entire birthday cake? A stomach ache.
What did the basketball player do before blowing out his birthday cake? He made a swish.
What do computers want for their birthdays? An upgrade.What did one pea say to the other on its birthday?Ha pea birthday!
Why doesn’t Dracula like hosting birthday parties? He says planing them is a pain in the neck.
How does a tea bag wish its friend happy birthday? Happy birthday, best tea!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When you slice it.
What did the witch do on her birthday? She spellabrates.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Cake and mice cream.
Where do you get a birthday present for your cat? From a cat-alogue.
What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
What did the birthday balloon say to the safety pin? Hey, buster.Why couldn’t the knot go to the birthday party?It was all tied up.
What kind of candle burns longer than others? None, silly — they all burn shorter.
Where can you go to study birthday treats? Sundae school.
What does an oyster do on its birthday? Shellebrate.
What happens when thieves crash a birthday party? They take the cake.
What kind of music do balloons fear?Pop tunes. Why do candles love birthdays?They like to get lit.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? He’s a fun guy.
Why did people take off their coats at the birthday party?B ecause everyone kept toasting.
Why were there balloons in the bathroom? For the birthday potty.
Why do kids always forget their past birthday parties? Because they’re so focused on the present.
Did you hear about the sale on birthday candles? It’s a blowout.How was the birthday party for the fish?It went swimmingly.
What did the ocean say on its birthday? Nothing — it just waved.
Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? Yeah, too many can kill you.
Why did the birthday girl hit her cake with a hammer? Because it was pound cake.
What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How do you know if a donut is bored at a birthday party? It looks glazed over.
What did the birthday card say to the stamp on its envelope? Stick with me — we’re going places.
What do they call you when you attend a ghost birthday? The life of the party.
How moving was the message in the birthday card? Even the cake was in tiers.
Why do leprechauns prefer cash to presents on their birthday? Because money is green.
What did the kid tell a classmate who lied about his birthday being in the summertime? Julyed.
What did the buffalo say when his son left the birthday party? Bison.
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks on their birthday? In case they get a hole in one!
What did the mommy rose say to the baby rose on his birthday? Happy birthday, bud!
What do you call a noodle pretending it’s his birthday? An impasta.
What kind of jewelry did the rabbit wear for its birthday party? 14 carrot gold.
How did a duck buy birthday presents? He put them on his bill.
What did the lawyer drink on her birthday? Subpoena colada.
How do you organize a birthday party in space? You planet carefully.
How does a cat make a birthday cake? From scratch.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? She’d let it go.

How to celebrate at your Next Happy Birthday Party!

Not everyone enjoys turning one year older, so planning a funny birthday party can help lighten the mooooo-d! (Get it, Happy Birthday to Moo!) Have you considered writing jokes on the vinyl tablecloths or cups for the next gathering? Likewise, guests can take turns reading the jokes at their place setting!

Therefore, if you like to send daily texts to those far away, you could send 1 joke a day for their entire Birthday Month! Above all, let me know in the comments how you plan to use these birthday jokes!

More Birthday Ideas and Activities!

Celebrating birthdays takes planning and perusing unless you use all my resources here at Skip to My Lou! In short, take a look at these ideas and HAVE FUN!

I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.