Music Jokes

Music jokes are a great way to bring some levity and humor into any gathering. Whether you’re attending a karaoke night or just spending time with friends and family, these jokes can help lighten the mood. So pick your favorite and get ready to share a few laughs!

1. What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
2. What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music? Swing.
3. Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? Too much sax and violins.
4. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? To get away from the noise.
5. How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs.
6. How do you fix a broken brass instrument? A tuba glue.
7. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer? He was Haydn.
8. What is Beethoven doing now? De-composing.
9. What’s the difference between an oboe and an onion? No one cries when you chop up an oboe.
10. How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes four movements.
11. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
12. What type of music do balloons hate? Pop music!
13. Why was the former conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic always first off the plane? Because he only had Karajan luggage.
14. What musical keys do cows sing in? Beef flat.
15. Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn’t even leave a note.
16. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.
17. Why is a piano so hard to open? Because the keys are on the inside.
18. Why do bagpipe players walk when they play? To get away from the noise.
19. Why did JS Bach have so many children? Because he didn’t have any organ stops
20. What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock!
21. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.
22. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.
23. What’s the definition of an optimist? A harp player taking out a mortgage.
24. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class? To reach the high notes.
25. What makes music in your hair? A head band.
26. How can you tell if a singer’s at your door? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
27. What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.
28. What did the robbers take from the music store? The lute.
29. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing? Because they put on the salsa.
30. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
31. What do you get when you play country music backward? You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.
32. How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep? Pay them for the pizza.
33. What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major.
34. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician.
35. What kind of musical instrument do rats play? Mouse organs.
36. Where do pianists go on vacation? The Florida Keys.
37. What’s the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline? You take your shoes off the jump on a trampoline.
38. What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? Bach in the saddle again.
39. What’s an avocado’s favorite music? Guac ‘n’ roll.
40. How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
41. What’s the first sign of Madness? Seeing Suggs walking up your driveway.
42. What do you call a musical insect? A humbug.
43. What did they say about the tone-deaf boy? He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.
44. How does a soprano sing a scale? Do, Re, Mi, Me, Me, Me, Me ME!
45. What types of songs do planets sing? Nep-tunes.
46. Which composer likes tea the most? Chai-kovsky.
47. What kind of band doesn’t play music? A rubber band.
48. What is the most musical part of your body? Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
49. Why did the chicken join a band? Because he already had drum sticks!
50. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw a banjo in the bin and it lands on an accordion
51. What do you get when you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician? A yam session.
52. How do you make a million dollars singing jazz? Start with two million.
53. What makes pirates such good singers? They can hit the high Cs.
54. What makes songs, but never sings? Notes.
55. What is a cucumber’s favorite instrument? A pickle-o!
56. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music? Because she broke the record.
57. What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park? Bach it up.
58. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on? Because she wanted to rock and roll.
59. How can you tell if a banjo player is at the door? He doesn’t know when to come in.
60. What did the robbers take from the music store? The lute.
61. What is the musical part of a snake? The scales.
62. How are trumpets like pirates? They both murder in the high C’s.
63. What’s big and grey with horns? An elephant marching band.
64. What’s the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
65. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!”
66. What’s the first thing a musician says at work? Would you like fries with that?
67. Which elf was the best singer? ELFis Presley.
68. Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
69. What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music? Rap.
70. What’s brown and sitting on a piano bench? Beethoven’s last movement.
71. What kind of music do bunnies like? Hip Hop.
72. Why did the fish make such a good musician? He knew his scales.
73. What has 40 feet and sings? The school choir.
74. What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A tattoo.
75. What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere? Litterachi
76. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone.
77. Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they forgot the words.
78. What did the bartender say to Middle C, E flat, and G? Sorry, we don’t serve minors.
79. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off? Limp Bizkit.
80. What song do tornados like? The Twist.
81. What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? MEWsic.
82. Want to hear the joke about a staccato? Never mind—it’s too short.
83. Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor.
84. What is a cat’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice.
85. Why was music coming from the printer? The paper was jamming.
86. Why was Mozart a child prodigy? All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
87. Why didn’t Handel go shopping? Because he was Baroque.
88. What do you call an elf that sings? A wrapper.
89. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching.
90. The biggest difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammys.The Eagles have won a Grammy.
91. What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless.
92. Who is a grain harvester’s favorite musical artist? Hall ‘n Oates.
93. What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra? Thank you for every ting.
94. What do you call clean music? A soap opera.
95. What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell.
96. What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes? Kazoontite.
97. What type of soap did the composer use? Anti-BACH-terial.
98. What do you call a set of musical dentures? Falsetto teeth
99. What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument? The guit-arrr!
100. What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport? La Travelator.
101. How does the sun listen to music? On its ray-dio!
102. Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar? Because they were slurring.
103. What is a robot’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal.
104. What genre of music is a national anthem? Country music.
105. What song do vampires hate? You Are My Sunshine.

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