Fall Jokes

Welcome to our list of hilarious jokes about the fall season! Whether you’re looking for a good laugh or are in search of some good conversation starters, this collection of humorous one-liners is sure to have something that will make you smile.

Why are trees so carefree and easy going? Because every fall, they let loose.
Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were autumn mated.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What do farmers wear under their shirt when they’re cold? A har-vest.
What happened when the turkey got in a fight? The stuffing was knocked out of him
How do trees get on the Internet? They just log on.
What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do? It can look round.
What’s James Bond’s favourite hot drink? Pumpkin spy-ced latte
What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin patch.
Why did the tree worry that he would never get his leaves back after autumn? He didn’t be-leaf in himself!
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
What did the leaf say to the other leaf? I’m falling for you
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What’s a monkey’s favourite vegetable? Zoochini
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school? The Crossing Gourd.
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season? Fall.
What do tuna fish love to drink in fall? Mulled brine
What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
In Autumn, what did the skydiver say? “I love the fall.”
What month does every tree dread? Sept-timberrrrrrr!
What happened when the turkey got in a fight? The stuffing was knocked out of him.
I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand up inside Jack-o-lanterns. What am I? A candle.
Why do birds fly south in the Fall? Because it’s too far to walk.
What’s Voltaires favourite dessert? Candide apples
What do you call a small pepper in late autumn? A little chili.
What did the leaf say to autumn? I’m falling for you!
What is it called when a tree takes some time off? Paid leaf.
Who lives in the scary Hundred Acre Wood? Winnie the Boo.
How does an elephant get out of a tree? It sits on a leaf and waits till fall.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his miserable summer.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
What’s an octopus’ favourite party? Oktoberfest
What do Jedi trees say to each other in the fall? “May the forest be with you.”
What type of vehicle should you use for a fall hayride? An autumn-mobile!
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn so much? Because he had a great fall.
Why is Dracula so easy to fool? Because he’s a sucker.
What is it called when a tree doesn’t think it’s autumn? Disbe-leaf
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What’s the best cutlery to use at a bonfire party? Guy forks
Why can you trust leaves in the fall? They speak from the b-autumn of their hearts.
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out-standing in his field.
What’s the best band to listen to in autumn? The Spice Girls
What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves
What kind of coat goes on wet? A coat of paint.
What kind of car do Brits drive at fall? An autumn-atic
What is a rock star’s favorite month? Rock-tober.
Why did the lions move at the end of summer? Because the pride goeth before the fall!
Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes? She wanted to branch out.
What do you call a guy who really likes fall? A Fall Dude!
What runs around a farm but doesn’t move? A fence.
How many books do you read at fall? I usually leaf through a couple of them
What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink? Pumpkin spy-ced latte.
Who reads in an apple? A bookworm
What’s a fires least favourite month? No-ember
What do the leaves say before they hibernate? “Rake me up when September ends.”
Did you hear about the tree that deserted the forest at the end of fall? He was absent without leaves!
What’s the saddest side dish? Sweet potato cries.
What monster is red, round, and comes out in the fall? Frankenapple
Why do deer paint their balls red? To hide in berry trees
What did autumn say to summer? “Make like a tree and leave!”
What kind of key can’t open doors? A turkey.
What is it called when a tree takes some time off? Paid Leaf
What’s the loudest sound in the forest at autumn? A squirrel eating berries from the tree
Why was the tree annoyed with the children? They wouldn’t leaf him alone.
What do you call a large colorful pile of leaves? The Great Barrier Leaf.
What’s the cutest season? Awwwtum
Who are the most religious people on McDonalds? Chipmunks
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What do you call a dude who really likes autumn? A fall guy!
Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in October? They fall for anything.
Why did summer catch autumn? Because autumn is fall
Which pigs hide in bushes? Hedgehogs
What did the apple say to the pie baker? Use cherries instead.
How do leaves get from place to place? Autumn-mobiles
What’s a hobbits favourite party ? A bon-shire party
Why did the apple pie cry? Its peelings were hurt!
Why is autumn the proudest season? It’s fall of it.
Why do owls like summer more than fall? It’s too wet to who!
What do short-sighted ghouls wear? Spooktacles.
How should you hunt wild boar in the fall? With an autumn-atic rifle
If the Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be most famous for? Their age.
What time of year do people get injured the most? In the fall.
Why are apples so bad in interrogations? They always crumble.
What is the best book to read in autumn? Gourd of the Rings
How are you supposed to talk in the apple library? With your incider voice.
What’s the most dangerous weather? Brisk fall weather
Why did the courgette, the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well? They were gourd friends.
Why was nobody scared of the tree? His bark was worse than his bite.
What did the tree say to fall in their fight? I can’t do this anymore; I’m leafing.
Why did the conker get a sore throat? Because it was a hoarse chestnut
Who plays James Bond best in an autumn orchard? Pears Brosnan.
What room are ghosts not allowed to enter? The living room.
What is black, white, and orange? A penguin holding a pumpkin!
Why did the apple look down on the carrot? Because he was a toff-ee apple
Why do people with vertigo hate autumn? In case they have a bad fall.
What’s a fire’s least favorite month? No-ember.
What did the ground say when fall came? Well that’s a re-leaf.
What’s Prince’s favourite vegetable? A little red courgette
What did the gardener do when he accidentally raked up a dead body? Gasped in disbe-leaf.
What should you do when you witness a crime in the forest? Report it to the leaf of police.
Who led all the apples to the bakery? The pie piper
Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes? She wanted to branch out
Why was the autumn vegetable stew so valuable? It contained 24 carat gourd.
What part did the turkeys play in the Thanksgiving Day parade? They played their drumsticks.
What is the slowest way to get out of a tree? Sit on a leaf and wait for fall to arrive.
What’s a pumpkins favourite sparkling wine? Cava
What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.
Which pumpkins can swim the best? The coast gourd.
Why are maple trees so forgiving? Every year, they “let it go.”
How do people pray to Autumnal Gods? “I’m feeling gratefall for these days.”
Why do trees always try new things? Because every fall, they turn over a new leaf.
What’s a strangler’s favourite soup? Garrot and coriander
Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in Autumn, it’s because of nostalgia? They’re trying to get back to their roots.
What did summer say to spring? Help! I’m going to fall!
Why did the squirrel change banks? He was unhappy with his current account
Why shouldn’t you date a girl named Autumn? Because she’ll leave you.
If there are three apples and you took away two, how many apples do you have? Two because you took the two apples.
Where does Neil Young put his cornflakes? On this harvest spoon
Why do leaves change color in Autumn? Because instead of chlorophyll, they chloro-empty.
What’s the best kind of weather for growing guns and roses? November rain
What if money grew on trees? Autumn would be the best season ever.
What did one Almond tree say to another before Autumn? “Hold onto your nuts; fall is here!”
Why did the squirrel call the tree a liar? He couldn’t be-leaf a word he said
How can one tree contact another tree? Through a teleafone.
Why did no one laugh at the oak tree? He kept telling acorn-y jokes
What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie? Puff pastry.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
Why was nobody scared of the tree? His bark was worse than his bite
What’s an octopus’ favorite party? Oktoperfest.
Why was the trampoline cold? She didn’t have a jumper
What do turkeys eat for dessert? Peach gobbler.
What do cars eat in the fall? Chestnuts roasting on an open tire
What did the squash with an identity crisis say? I’m A–Corn!
Why should you always eat mushrooms in the morning? It’s the breakfast of champignons
What did the farmer tell the crying apple orchard keeper to do? Grow a pear.
Which emperor do skeletons love the most? Napoleon Bone-aparte
How did the tree get a new job? He had the right qua-leaf-ications.
What’s the devils favourite spice? Sin-er-man
How did Grandma know it was autumn? She had a fall sensor.
Why do trees take a break every year in Autumn? Annual Leave.
What’s the preacher’s favorite autumn song? A-maize-ing Grace.
What is the biggest problem with Autumn jokes? No one falls for it.
What did the leaf feel when he first saw his long-lost nephew? He was so g-leaf-ul.
Where do apples like to go hiking? Mount Fuji.
Why is fall the best time of the year to go on vacation? The weather is un-be-leaf-able!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable? Squash.

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