Bird Jokes

Welcome to our post filled with bird jokes! Whether you’re a fan of birds, or just love a good joke, this post is sure to give you the giggles.

We have collected some of the best and funniest bird jokes from all around the web – so get ready for lots of laughs!

Happy laughing! 🦆🤣🐦😃☀️

1. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.
2. What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird!
3. There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll? Roosters don’t lay eggs!
4. Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? Because he was caught tweeting on a test!
5. How do crows stick together in a flock? Velcrow.
6. What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? Steven Seagull.
7. What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey!
8. When should you buy a bird? When it’s going cheep!
9. What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment!
10. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long distance caw.
11. When does a teacher carry birdseed? When there is a parrot-teacher conference!
12. Why did Mozart sell his chickens? Because they kept saying “bach bach”.
13. What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish? Tweetie Pie!
14. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? Because if it lifted both legs it would fall over!
15. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.
16. What is a polygon? A dead parrot!
17. What kind of bird works at a construction site? The crane!
18. Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace.
19. What kind of birds do you usually find locked up? Jail-birds!
20. Why did the bird get a ticket? It broke the law of gravity!
21. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words!
22. What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.
23. What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey.
24. What kind of math do birds like? Owlgebra.
25. What did one egg say to another? Let’s get cracking!
26. What do you call a sad bird? A bluebird!
27. Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
28. What bird is helpful at dinner? A swallow.
29. How did the bird break into the house? With a crow bar.
30. What does a cat call a hummingbird? Fast food.
31. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky!
32. What bird is always depressed? The blue jay
33. What soap do birds use? Dove.
34. How do blue jays stay fit? Wormups.
35. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da skies!
36. Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market.
37. What language do geese speak? Porchageese
38. What did the maple tree say to the woodpecker? Leaf me alone!
39. What did the Eagle say when he was cold? Birrrrd.
40. What kind of bird runs the church? A cardinal!
41. What bird movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
42. What do you call a duck on drugs? A quackhead.
43. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very big bill.
44. What does a bird like in his soup? Crowtons.
45. Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks.
46. What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird? Cherpies.
47. Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
48. How do you get a raven to stop calling? Take away its cell phone?
49. What do you get if you kiss a bird? A peck on the cheek!
50. How many cans does it take to make a bird? Two cans
51. What is a bird’s favourite game? Beakaboo!
52. What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A firequaker!
53. What is a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and Speak!
54. What books did the owl like? Hoot-dunits.
55. What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don’t ask her out again.
56. What do you call a sick eagle? ill eagle!
57. What bird can you buy at the grocery store? A kiwi.
58. What do birds like about outside? Debris.
59. Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks!
60. What is a bird’s favorite game? Beakaboo.
61. What is green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.
62. Why did the doves miss the wedding? They were under the feather.
63. What does a farmer call an escaped bird? A loose goose.
64. What is the most uncomfortable of all birds? The Wedgie-tailed eagle.
65. What flies through the jungle singing opera? The parrots of Penzance!
66. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
67. What language do birds speak? Pigeon English!
68. What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
69. What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.
70. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek? Fowl play!
71. What’s another name for a clever duck? A wise quacker.
72. How do you get a cut-price parrot? Plant bird seed!
73. What do you get when you cross a bird with a comedian? Jay Leno.
74. How do you catch a unique bird? Unique up on it.
75. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? Owlgebra
76. Why is a sofa like a roast chicken? Because they’re both full of stuffing!
77. What do vegans get instead of bird flu? Toflu
78. What bird is too afraid to fly? CHICKEN!
79. Why was the big bird sitting all alone? He was ostrich sized.
80. What do politicians, drug addicts and birds have in common? They all have friends in high places.
81. Why are flightless birds so calm? They’re unflappable.
82. Did you know that Archaeopteryx ate worms? After all, it’s an early bird.
83. What did the bird say to the price tag? Cheep!
84. A bird stole my snack. You know what I said? “Toucan play at that game.”
85. What did the turkey say when he forgot to study for his test? “I’ll just wing it.”
86. What does the turkey say when he’s using the computer? “Google google!”
87. Why did the owl join Tinder? He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
88. What do you call a bird who wins Jeopardy? A know-it-owl.
89. What do you give a sick bird? Medical tweetment.
90. What do you call an owl who does magic tricks? Hoodini.
91. What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-ey.
92. What do you call an owl who was just caught committing a crime? A spotted owl.
93. What kind of crime are you committing when you attack a bird? A featheral offense.
94. What does the one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!
95. What do you call it when an owl has an upset stomach that makes him grumpy? Irritable owl syndrome.
96. How do penguins make a decision? Flipper coin.
97. What do you call a sarcastic turkey? A smirky turkey.
98. What do you call a young bird after he publishes his first book? A fledgling author.
99. What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey? A perky turkey.
100. What do you get when you cross a bird with a lawnmower? Shredded tweet.
101. What do you call a turkey that’s bad at bowling? A gutter ball turkey.
102. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
103. What do flamingos do at parties? They flamingle.
104. What’s a bird’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo!
105. What do you call a criminal raven? A caw-nvict.
106. What do retired birds do for fun on the weekends? They play flabingo.
107. What do you get when you cross a flamingo with a Beatle? Flamingo Starr.

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