Baseball Jokes

Baseball is a beloved sport in the United States and around the world. It has inspired countless fans, but it’s also been the source of plenty of laughs! So get ready, it’s time to take a swing at some hilarious baseball jokes!

You can read through the full list of baseball jokes below and find your favorite to tell. Enjoy!

1. Why did the Braves hire a baker? They needed a new batter.
2. Why did the sausage quit playing baseball? Because he was the wurst on his team.
3. What did the baseball player do when the coach said to steal second? He stole the base and went home.
4. Which animal is best at baseball? The bat.
5. How is Korean boxing like baseball? They always knock out one of the Parks.
6. What does baseball have in common with pancakes? They both rely on the batter!
7. When pitching the ball, why does the pitcher raise only one of his legs and not two legs? If he would have raised both of his legs, he would have fallen down!
8. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Someone stole second base.
9. What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!
10. Why do they play baseball games at night? Because the bats are asleep during the day.
11. Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC? Yankee Stadium
12. Why could I never date a baseball player? Cuz they’re out of my league!
13. What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet? A throw rug
14. Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
15. Which position is the best water boy? The pitcher.
16. Why are baseball games at night? Because bats are nocturnal!
17. What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team
18. Does anyone else realize that baseball is actually illegal? Hit and run is a felony.
19. Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? New Jersey.
20. Why was it always so windy at Candlestick Park? Because of all the Giant Fans.
21. Why are baseball players rich? Because they play on diamonds.
22. What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? One steals watches and one watches steals.
23. What do male cattle use to write? Bullpens!
24. What position does Kool-aid Man play in baseball? Relief Pitcher
25. Where should a baseball player never wear red? In the bull pen
26. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Forget it. It’s way over your head.
27. Why are frogs good baseball players? Because they’re great at catching flies!
28. Why do RV mechanics make good baseball players? Because they know how to make a home run.
29. What is an alcoholics least favorite part of a baseball game? The bottom of the 5th.
30. What do baseball players eat on? Home plates!
31. What’s the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder? One catches drops and the other drops catches.
32. Why was Cinderella taken out of the game by her manager? Because she ran away from the ball!
33. What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs? A fly swatter.
34. Where do catchers sit at lunch? Behind the plate.
35. Why are some umpires fat? They always clean their plate!
36. Why is baseball banned in China? We all know what happened the last time someone ate the bat.
37. Why don’t baseball players join unions? Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
38. Why is it so hot at Rays games? Because there’s not a fan in the place.
39. Why did the police officer rush to the baseball game? Good guess! But it was because someone stole second base!
40. What’s the umpire’s least favorite Star Wars movie? The Umpire Strikes Back
41. Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be? It’s full of fans
42. Why is baseball stadium the coolest place to be? Because it’s full of fans.
43. Why is baseball telecaster Karen’s preferred job? She gets to speak with the manager after each game
44. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base? From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle.
45. How Do Baseball Players Stay Friends? They touch base every once in awhile.
46. Why do girls like baseball? Because diamonds are a girl’s best friend!
47. What is the best advice to give a young baseball player? If you don’t succeed at first, try second base.
48. Why is it so hot at Phillies games? Because there’s not a fan in the place.
49. How do baseball players keep in touch? They touch base every once in a while.
50. What are Pee Wee Herman’s favorite Baseball Teams? The Expos and The Yankees
51. Why did the cops show up at the baseball game? They heard someone was stealing bases.
52. Why did the baseball team hire a cook? They needed a good batter.
53. What Do You Get When You Cross A Tree With A Baseball Player? Babe Root.
54. What do baseball players use to make a birthday cake? Oven mitts, bunt pans, and batter.
55. Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location.They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there.
56. What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
57. Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken? They both have foul mouths!
58. Where does a bat go to get clean? The Bat Tub
59. Did you hear the joke about the baseball? It will leave you in stitches.
60. What do you call a monkey that wins the World Series? A chimpion.
61. What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? The fence.
62. What are the rules in zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out.
63. What position did Jesus play on his baseball team? Pitcher. He gave his sermon on the mound.
64. Why was the baseball player at the store? For a sales pitch.
65. Why are some umpires such healthy eaters? They always clean their plate
66. What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common? They are both sluggers!
67. What cartoon character is the best at baseball? Homer Simpson.
68. Did you know that spiders are good baseball players? That’s because they are good fly catchers.
69. Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team? To add a little team spirit.
70. What did Jim Carrey say when he wasn’t allowed to have a left handed baseball player on his team? Allllllllllll righty then!
71. Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch? Forget it. You just missed it.
72. Where did the baseball player wash his socks? In the bleachers.
73. What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park? The Swings!
74. What’s a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to fail him? He takes a job as an umpire.
75. What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter.
76. Which superhero is the best at baseball? Batman.
77. Why didn’t Robin choose a career as a baseball player? He forgot to buy a bat, man.
78. Where do you keep your mitt while driving? In the glove compartment.
79. How do baseball players know when to bathe? Foul balls
80. Why are singers good at baseball? Because they have perfect pitch.
81. Why did the baseball player put springs on his cleats? He was getting ready for spring training!
82. Why did the baseball player shut down his website? Because he wasn’t getting any hits.
83. Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier to the game? He wanted to play like a babe
84. How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Five minutes. It was a short stop.
85. What do you call a Jewish baseball team from Pennsylvania? A Philly minyan
86. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster? A double header
87. Why is it a bad idea to play baseball in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
88. Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams? Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.
89. Why don’t matches play baseball? One strike, and they’re out!
90. How do you determine the age of Yankees fans? Cut them open and count the rings.
91. Which baseball player loved fireplaces? Mickey Mantle
92. What’s the difference between a Royals fan and a baby? The baby stops whining after a while.
93. Why is it so hard to steal third base? Because you have to go through a short stop.
94. A man leaves home, makes three left turns and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they? They’re the catcher and umpire.
95. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster? A double header!
96. Two baseball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team has touched a base. How can this be? The teams were all women.
97. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a baseball bat. How do you get out? Unlock the door, of course!
98. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter? Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up.
99. I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat. So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
100. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? Right In the big inning … er … beginning.
101. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hotdog in October!
102. A teacher asks her students if they’re Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. “Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?” ”The Red Sox.” “Why’s that?” “Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I’m a Red Sox fan too.” “That’s not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?” “No, that would make me a Yankees fan!”
103. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
104. What do you call 40 millionaires sitting around watching the World Series? The New York Yankees!
105. Have you ever seen a line drive? No, but I have seen a baseball park!
106. If brownie mix is on first base, pudding on second, and cookie dough on third base, who is hitting at the plate? The cake batter.
107. Which baseball manager was arrested for arson as a teenager and retains his jailhouse nickname to this day? Sparky Anderson
108. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man? Pitching like no one has ever seen.
109. When does the Queen watch baseball? If it’s a knight game!
110. Which baseball players is a fruitarian? Darryl Strawberry
111. Did you hear the joke about your pitching style? Never mind. It’s foul.

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