Pig Jokes

Are you looking for some hilarious pig jokes? Have we got a treat for you! From puns to one-liners, and everything in between; this list of pig jokes is sure to have something that’ll make the whole family chuckle. So put on your best porcine smile and get ready for some oinking good fun! Read on for our list of the funniest pig jokes you’ll ever hear!

We’ve done the work to compile this list of the best pig jokes, so all you have to do is sit back, relax and enjoy a good chuckle. Have fun!

1. What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work? Philanthropig.
2. Why was the piglet whining? He was boared out of his brains.
3. What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
4. What do you call a pig with fleas? Pork scratchings!
5. Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day? They threw a sowprize party.
6. What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
7. What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted!
8. What do you call a laundromat for pigs? Hogwash.
9. What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
10. What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day? I’m bacon!
11. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar.
12. Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
13. What baking competition do pigs enter? The Great British Bake On!
14. Why should you never rob a bank with a pig? They always squeal.
15. Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
16. What do you get if you cross Teddy with a pig? A teddy boar!
17. How do pigs get to the hospital? In ham-bulances.
18. Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
19. Who’s the smartest pig in the world? Ein-swine!
20. How do pigs write top-secret messages? With invisible oink!
21. What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
22. Why are pigs bad drivers? They are all road hogs!
23. Why do pigs make awful football players? They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
24. What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?”
25. Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers!
26. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porky-pine.
27. Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
28. What do you call an angry pig? Disgruntled!
29. What do you call a Spanish pig? Porque.
30. What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
31. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop!
32. What kind of work do pigs do after school? Hamwork.
33. What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
34. Why was Woody fed up of Hamm? He was being a bore!
35. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
36. What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
37. What did Hamm build his house out of? Mahogany!
38. What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games? The Olympigs.
39. How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
40. What do pigs put on cuts? Oinkment!
41. Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine!
42. Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
43. What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? Jurassic pork!
44. What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car? “Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
45. What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
46. What do you call a pig who can’t mind its own business? A nosey porker!
47. How does a young pig hit on someone? They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
48. Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
49. What animal drives really badly? A road hog!
50. What did one pig say to the other? Let’s be pen pals.
51. What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
52. Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop? He called it “Ham Hocks”
53. What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
54. What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
55. What happened when the pigpen broke? They had to use the pig pencil.
56. What do you call a pig that plays basketball? A ball hog.
57. What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
58. What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
59. Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend? Because he was a boar.
60. Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
61. What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise? A slow-pork.
62. What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug? Pulled pork!
63. What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
64. What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
65. What did the little piglet want from the swine? A piggyback ride home.
66. What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
67. Where do flying pigs go? Hogwarts, of course!
68. What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
69. What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as? Frankenswine.
70. What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail? “That’s the end of me!”
71. Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
72. How do pigs greet their family and friends? With hogs and kisses.
73. What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th? They have a valenswines dinner.
74. What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig!
75. What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
76. What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia? A hamster
77. In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…It’s mayham!
78. Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office? He was the first Porkmaster General.
79. What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig? A bae con.
80. What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.
81. What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose? Ham boogers.
82. Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating? They’re in a stable relationship.
83. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
84. How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
85. What kind of ice cream do pigs like best? Hoggin Daz!
86. What did the pig say when he broke his leg? Call the hambulance.
87. What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
88. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? Pork rinds.
89. Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning? She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
90. Where to pigs meet up? The meet market.
91. What do Bad Piggies like to do? Squeal the Spotlight
92. What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
93. What do you call a pig that won the lottery? Filthy Rich
94. What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? A pig tail!
95. What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
96. Where can a pig see the statue of Liberty? New Pork City
97. Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
98. What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and Eczema
99. Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning? She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
100. Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read? Porks Illustrated!
101. What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
102. What do you get when a pig mixed two colors? Pigment
103. Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
104. What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
105. What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
106. Why did the farmer call his pig ink? Because it would always run out of the pen!
107. Why did the farmer make the pigs do the paperwork? Because it was grunt work
108. Why should you never tell a pig a secret? Because it loved to squeal!
109. What do you call a pig that’s not fun to be around? A boar
110. Do you want to hear a dirty joke? A Pig fell in the mud
111. Do you want to hear a clean joke? A pig took a bath.
112. What do you get if you cross between a pig with a dinosaur? A porkasaurus rex!
113. How do you stop a warthog from charging? Take his credit card away!
114. What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would skyrocket.
115. What do you call a black pig standing in the hot sun all day? Smoked Sausage
116. What did the cow say to the pig? MOOOOOOVE over
117. What did the butcher say to the pig? Nice to Meat you!
118. What is the difference between a duck and a pig? One is a pig!
119. Why are books about pigs so interesting? There’s always a twist in the tale!
120. How do pigs talk to each other? Swine language.
121. What do you call a pig with a poorly throat? Disgruntled.
122. What is a pig’s favorite sport? Mud wrestling.
123. What do pigs bring to the beach? A surf-boar-d.
124. What do you call a fashionable pig? Calvin Swine.
125. Which Star Wars character was really a pig? Ham Solo.
126. What was the pig’s favorite Shakespeare play? Ham-let!
127. What do pigs call the creation of the Universe? The Pig Bang Theory.
128. How do you fit more pigs on the farm? By putting up a sty-scraper!
129. What do you get when you cross a pig and superman? The Man of Squeal.

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