Fishing Jokes

Fishing jokes are some of the funniest and most beloved jokes out there, as they bring a sense of camaraderie among those who appreciate them. Whether you’re an experienced angler or just someone looking for a few laughs, these fishing jokes will have you in stitches.

1. What do you say to a fisherman on his birthday? Hope you have a reely good day!
2. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together? Because Robin ate all the worms!
3. Why did the fisherman put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
4. What sort of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy.
5. What do you call a lazy Crawfish? A slobster.
6. Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools!
7. What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock? A hook, line and stinker!
8. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Damn!
9. Why is fishing such good business? The net profits.
10. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? A big-mouthed bass!
11. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A Sturgeon.
12. Why did the Vegan go fishing? Just for the halibut.
13. Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? He had only two worms.
14. What do you call bad bait? A fail-lure!
15. Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!
16. Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son? I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
17. Why did the fisherman hang up on his boss? Because he had something on the other line!
18. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb – it was THIS big!
19. Why is it so easy to weigh fish? Because they have their own scales!
20. Where do goldfish go on vacation? Around the globe!
21. What do you call a girl hanging off the side of a fishing boat? Annette!
22. What’s the fastest fish in the lake? A motor-Pike.
23. What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything? Three men and a baby.
24. How do fish get from place to place while playing golf? By golf carp!
25. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
26. Where do fish sleep? On a water bed!
27. Why don’t fish play soccer? They’re afraid of the net.
28. Why did the husband go fishing on Valentine’s Day? To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders!
29. Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk!
30. What do you say if you find a fish using the toilet? Did I catch you at a bad time?
31. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
32. Why are fish cleverer than people? Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?
33. Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank.
34. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
35. What does the Loch Ness monster eat? Fish and ships!
36. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument? A bass drum.
37. Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish? Long time no sea, sir.
38. What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea!
39. What is a fish’s favorite show? Name That Tuna.
40. What does every fisherman want? A gillfriend.
41. Why are fish good lawyers? Because they like to de-bait!
42. Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant? Two fish got battered!
43. Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”? They were about to have a roe.
44. How do religious fish always start off their prayers? Dear cod.
45. How can you tell the pufferfish had too much salt at dinner? He’s looking a little blow-ted!
46. Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
47. How does a fish know when the party’s over? Well, it’s obvious when it’s fin-ished.
48. Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
49. What do you call a fake koi fish? A de koi
50. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
51. What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
52. What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
53. Why did the fisherman stop playing violin? Because he was all out of tuna.
54. What do you call a fish with two legs? A two-knee fish.
55. How do fish go into business? The start on a small scale!
56. What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada? Follow the “northern pike.”
57. What was the fish who was a huge Rick Astley fan singing? Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you drown! Never gonna swim around and splash you!
58. What is the richest fish in the world? A goldfish.
59. When you need a handyman, which fish do you call? The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer and he’s always happy to use it.
60. What did the man say when everyone was getting annoyed at his fish puns? “I really should scale back.”
61. How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don’t know the answer but I think I’m nearly there.
62. What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet.
63. What kind of fish is made from just two sodium atoms? 2 Na.
64. Why can’t you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it’ll crack you up.
65. Where can you find the down-and-out calamari? On squid row.
66. Why don’t fish like playing basket ball? They are terrified of nets.
67. How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clam-bulance.
68. What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!
69. What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of? Clownfish.
70. How many tickles will it takes to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
71. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
72. Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
73. Why did one fish slap the other? To snapper out of it.
74. Which fish has the worst haircut? The mullet.
75. Did you hear about the lobster that got a job at pizza hut? He works at the crust station.
76. Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco? He pulled a mussel.
77. Which fish can perform operations? A sturgeon!
78. Why do most people dislike anchovies? Because they’re a little fishy.
79. Where do you find a fish in orbit? Trouter space
80. What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout? A monkfish.
81. What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
82. How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don’t. They call an electric eel.
83. What did the pirate fish make the prisoner fish do? Walk the plankton.
84. What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? “You bass-tard!”
85. Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish? It’s in de-beta-bowl.
86. What kind of fish eats mice? A catfish
87. Which murderer sleeps at the bottom of the sea? Jack the Kipper.
88. If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
89. What does the salmon always say at closing time? Time to lox up.
90. What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The Codfather.
91. What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda.
92. What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light? I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
93. Why are dolphins smarter than humans? In the space of 2 hours they can train a persons to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
94. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell it a whale of a tale.
95. What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net.
96. If Marcia Brady were a fish, what would her most famous line be? Oh! Minnows!
97. What is the best way to catch a fish on the internet? Click bait.
98. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
99. What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.
100. What’s the clownfish’s biggest fear? That he’s not really all that finny.
101. What tv show starring Charlie Sheen do all fish love? Tuna-half men.
102. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
103. How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.
104. Why isn’t the bachelor fish married? Because he has fin-timacy issues.
105. What do fish do when an emergency occurs? The sea kelp.
106. Where do you weigh wales? At a whale way station.
107. What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon? I don’t sea your point.
108. Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it’s not online yet.
109. What did the tuna say after the job interview? Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty.
110. What do you call the soft tissue that lies between a sharks teeth? A very slow swimmer
111. How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose.
112. What bit of fish doesn’t make sense? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.
113. How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark? When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question.”
114. What does the bass say when the tilefish seems confused? You’ve got that completely bass ackwards.
115. What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg, and a hand? Bird’s thigh, fish fingers!
116. How did the fish’s tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!
117. What fish do road-menders use? Pneumatic krill.
118. How do shellfish take photos? With a clam-era.
119. Where does a fish wash up? A river BASIN!
120. What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod? Nuclear fission
121. What did one fishing pole say to the other? Reel recognize reel.
122. Where does a fish sleep? A river BED!

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