350+ Dumb Kids Jokes

Dumb Kids Jokes are a collection of 50+ school appropriate jokes guaranteed to get a good laugh or at least an eye roll. For anyone with a sense of humor, these funny jokes are a piece of cake to read and enjoy.

Do you ever say, “Hey Google, tell me a joke?” If so, you can now search Skip to My Lou for lots of joke collections! For instance, take a look at 50 Hilarious Dog Jokes and 100+ Hilarious Jokes Approved for Kids.

Dumb Jokes For Kids

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Why do you smear peanut butter in the road? To go with the traffic jam.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
Did you hear about the famous pickle? Because he was a big dill!
What do houses wear? An address, obviously.
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No, you should just stick with turkey.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet—I don’t know y.
Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
What do you give a sick lemon? A Lemon-aid.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting? I’d be muffin without you.
Which hand is better to write with? Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.
Can February March? No, but April May!
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
Why is a baseball stadium always cold? Because it’s full of fans!
Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.
What washes up on really small beaches? Ao- waves.
I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.
What is the smartest state? Alabama. It has four As and one B.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed!
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What do you call an Australian boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, obviously!
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming Trunks!
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Something smells between you and me”.
What are the only kinds of trees that grow fingers? Palm trees.
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints!
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
How can you tell a vampire has a cold? They starts coffin.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Which Star Wars movie do baseball players hate? The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did an astronaut clean his house? Because he needed some space.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs.
What do you call a bull when they fall asleep? A bull-dozer.
What is a dentist’s favorite dance move? The Floss.
What is the name of an elephant which is not important? Irrelephant
Why is a baseball stadium always cold? Because it’s full of fans!
How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
What animal has more lives than a cat? Frogs because they croak every day!
What’s the difference between a well-dressed person on a unicycle and a poorly dressed person on a bike? Attire.
When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
Can one bird make a pun? No, but toucan.
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
Why wasn’t the letter delivered? It was stationary.
Why did the traffic light turn red? It had to change in the middle of the street.
How can you tell when a bike is thinking? Their wheels are turning.
What events do spiders love to attend? Webbings.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.
What do kids wear when they can’t play with a phone? Bored games.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps
Why do artists constantly feel cold? Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
What do you call an old snowman? Water!
What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield.
How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
What do you call a cow that eats your grass? A lawn moo-er.
Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
Why did the banana go to the hospital? He was peeling really bad.
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He was looking for his buddy Pluto.
What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.
What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!
What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep? A stega-snore-us.
What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.
How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
What did the dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!
Why should you not let a bear operate the remote? He will keep pressing the paws button.
What is a robot’s favorite snack? Computer chips.
What’s the biggest moth in the world? A mammoth.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit? A bunny ribbit.
What type of markets do dogs avoid? Flea markets!
What do music and chickens have in common? Bach, Bach, Bach!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? A do-you-think-he-saw-us.
What did one penny say to another penny? We make cents.
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? For tocking too much.
Why do Norwegian ships come with barcodes? So when they return to port they canScandanavian.
What do you call a dishonest reptile? A crookodile.
What do you call a quiet laugh in Maui? Aloha. (A low “ha”)
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep!
Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can fight knights!
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
Why is the grass so dangerous? It’s full of blades.
What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill? Walking…JK, Rowling.
What’s the name of that frog cowboy? Hopalong Cassidy.
Why do bees have sticky hair? Their honeycombs.
What state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
Why do underwear tell bad jokes? They’re too brief.
Why did the dog want to become a doctor? Because cats can.
How does a boat full of puppies move? Doggy-paddles.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it.
What did one goldfish say to the other while in their tank? Do you know how to drive this thing?
Where do you take a boat with a cold? The boat doc. (dock)
Why can’t you trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
What do you call my cheese? Nacho cheese.
What is the name of the penguin’s favorite aunt? Aunt Arctica.
Which dog likes taking bubble baths? A shampoodle.
What is a plumber’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks.
Why do pregnant horses run faster than other horses? Because they have two horsepower.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
What’s red and shaped like a bucket? A blue bucket painted red.
How do you make an artichoke? You strangle it.
Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? To see butter-fly.
What do you call an attractive fruit? A fine-apple.
Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty!
How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.Where did the computer go dancing? The Disc-o.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? Oops!
Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? It’s always 90 degrees.
What do you call a person who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What did the tired toilet say to the plunger? I’m flushed.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.
Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Because it’s also called a restroom!
What did the poop say to the fart? Wow, you really blow me away!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
What’s worse than raining cats & dogs? Hailing taxis.
What kind of chocolate do you find in airports? Plain
What do you call an international traveler that always stays in a corner? A stamp.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his miserable summer.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
Why did the map always lose at poker? It always folded.
What’s the fastest country in the world? Russia.
What is a chicken’s least favorite day? Fry-day.
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
Why do Santa’s elves go to therapy? To help their elf esteem
Did you hear about the population of Ireland? It’s Dublin.
How do you talk to giants? Use big words!
Why do dogs float in water? Because they are good buoys.
What street do ghosts haunt? Dead ends.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? All that was left was de Brie
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he is always lion.
How do cows spend their free time? In moovies.
What does a cow call his mother? Moooo-m.
What does a pampered cow give us? Spoiled milk.
What did the lion say to the deer? Pleased to eat you.
What did the wolf say when the mice bit him? Owwwww-ch.
Why did the squirrel like my friend? Because my friend is nuts.
Which animal plays sports all the time? A bat.
What happened to the toad who left the forest? He was soon froggotten.
How do you make an egg roll? Push it.
Why was the baby strawberry late for school? Because her parents were stuck in a jam.
Why can’t a man make milk? Because he lactose qualities.
How much does it cost a Neutron to buy groceries? No charge.
What do astronomers do to plan a birthday party for their friend? They planet.
What is very odd? Every other number.
Whom can you always count on? Your fingers.
Which season do mathematicians enjoy the most? Sum-mer.
Why did the obtuse angle lose the argument? Because he was not right.
Why is the keyboard always tired? Because it has two shifts.
Why was the bullet unemployed? Because it was fired.
What happened when David lost his ID? He became Dav.
What do you call a mountain that is funny? Hill-arious.
Why did the nose complain about the finger? Because the finger was always picking on him.
Why was the coffee scared? He got mugged.
What sound does a witches car make? Broom Broom.
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It Gets Toad away!
What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A question.
How do you confuse someone? Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.
What’s white and ruins your dinner? An avalanche.
What looks like a tree, and has wheels? A tree, I lied about the wheels.
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head? Time to duck.
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid? He was a little Thor.
Why were there more birds flying on one side of the V formation than the other? Because the other side had fewer birds.
How do you make a lemon drop?Let go of it.Where do frogs keep their money? In a riverbank.
Why can’t a pig keep a secret? Because they always end up squealing.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
What’s yellow and something you shouldn’t drink? A school bus.
What do you call a droid that goes the long way round? R2 Detour.
What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.
What sport do horses like to play? Stable tennis.
What kind of snake would you find on a car? A windshield viper.
What do you call a pig who is never fun to hang out with? A boar.
Where did the sheep go on vacation? The baaaahamas.
How does a dog stop his YouTube? It presses the paws button.
What is the snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-story.
What time do ducks get out of bed? At the quack of dawn.
What kind of cat lives underwater? An octoPUSS!
Why aren’t koalas actually bears? They don’t meet the koalafications.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumb-y.
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? GRRRAAAIINS!
What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison? An escapea.
What kind of nut has no shell? A doughnut.
What starts with “t” ends with “t” and is filled with “t”? A teapot.
Which snakes are good at math? Adders.
What types of songs do planets sing? Nep-tunes.
What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock? Arithma-ticks.
Why are computers so smart? They listen to their motherboard.
What washes up on really small beaches? Micro-waves.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They’re silent but deadly.
Why did Tigger go into the bathroom? He was looking for Pooh.
What drives out of your nose at 150 mph? A Lambogreeny.
Why are pirates great singers? They hit the high C’s.
What do you call a musician with problems? Trebled.
What kind of pets like NASCAR? Lap dogs.
Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
Which insect do you not want to see in goal? A fumble bee.
Why did the baker put the birthday cake in the freezer? Because it had to be iced.
What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet? A throw rug.
What does a turtle do on its birthday? It shell-ebrates.
How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party? There are footprints on your cake.
Why should you stay away from trees? They can be a little shady.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper.
Why can’t you eat Wookie meat? Because it’s chewy.
What do you call bears with no ears? B.
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.
What is the name of a dinosaur with a large vocabulary? A The-Saurus
What is the reason why orphans are not good at playing baseball? That’s because they don’t know where their home is.
Why do ants never get sick? Because they have antie bodies.
What if life gives you melons? You’re dyslexic.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands.
What is the anime of a clown who’s stuck in the desert? A dry humor
What kind of markets do dogs hate? Flea Markets.
What did one wall say to another? See you at the corner.
Why do kleptomaniacs don’t get puns? Because they always take things literally.
Which dogs never get lost? Newfoundlands.
What is the name of the bomb in the water? A bath bomb.
Where are average things manufactured? In a satisfactory.
How much time do you need to make butter? An echurnity.
Which chess piece do dogs prefer? A pawn.
What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding half a worm in an apple.
What happens if somebody doesn’t know what the word “Armageddon” means? It’s not the end of the world.
What is the stupidest animal in the world? A polar bear.
Name the more important invention than the first telephone. The second one.
Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
What did the teacher promise to the lightbulb? You will have a bright future.
Which Star Wars movie do baseball players hate? The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did an astronaut clean his house? Because he needed some space.
Why can’t Donald Trump be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts.
What did one volcano say to another? I lava you.
Why did the boy imprison his girlfriend? Because she stole his heart.
What does a house wear? An address.
What did the blanket say after feeling off the bed? Oh, sheet.
What is the name of a Jedi with one arm? A Hand Solo.
What is the name of a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi.
Why you should avoid writing with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What is the name of a singing laptop? A Dell.
What kind of jokes do you tell while taking a bath? Clean jokes.
How did the magician make the pizza disappear? He ate it.
What is the name of a farm that has bad humor? Corny.
When did the fly fly? When the spider spied it.
What happened with an Italian cook? He pasta way.
What is a scientist’s favorite gum flavor? An experi-mint.
What did a small mountain say to a bigger one? Hi Cliff!
What is a dog’s least favorite seafood? A catfish.
What is the best time to jump on a trampoline? A springtime.
Why do people like flashlights? Because it’s the highlight of their day.
What is the name of a tiny mother? A mini-mum.
What is the name of a panda that doesn’t want to grow up? A Peter Panda.
What is something that breaks after saying it? Silence
What is the name of a priest that became a lawyer? A father-in-law.
How can you spell cold with two letters? IC
What is the dentists’ favorite dance move? The Floss.
What is the name of a wolf that is meditating? An aware wolf.
Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
What color is a burp? Burple.
What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat? A boa constructor.
How do cartoonists decide who’s the best? They draw lots.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark? Floodlights.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide their spades.
Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
What would bears be without bees? Ears.
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.
How do billboards talk? Sign language.
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
How do snails fight? They slug it out.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
Why shouldn’t you play cards on the savannah? Because of all the cheetahs.
How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.
What did the hat say to the scarf? You go ahead, I’ll hang around.
What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.
Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?Y ou’re too young to smoke.
Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
What do a dog and a phone have in common? They both have collar ID.
What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up? Dino-sore.
What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.
What did the axe murderer say to the judge? It was an axe-ident.
What do you call anxious dinosaurs? Nervous Rex.
Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.
How do you catch a whole school of fish? He felt rotten.
Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? ‘Cause the cow’s got the udder!
Why did the picture get arrested? It got framed.
Why is it so windy inside a sports arena? All those fans.
Did you hear about the tree that worked as a photographer? He was talented at photo-synthesis.
When would you want a man’s company? When he owns it!
What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common? They’re always coming early.
How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
What do you call a man-made garbage? Your ex-boyfriend.
Guess what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.
How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy? Who cares?
What happened when the dinosaurs used deodorants?T hey became ex-stink.
Why does my cat hate me? It has com’pat’ibility issues.
What is a mailman’s favorite animal? Seals.
Why did the squirrel, like my friend? Because my friend is nuts.
What is a cat’s favorite candy? Kitty Kat bar.
What was wrong with the dolphin? Nofin.
Why is the panda stuffed toy so special and expensive? Because it is ex-panda-ble.
What would you call it when someone throws an apple on your face? A fruit punch.
How does it feel to drink the same coffee every day? Déjà Brew.
Why can’t a man make milk? Because he lactose qualities.
Why did my little brother start crying when I did not give him a hot beverage? He has been very senteamental lately.
What candy does Instagram hate? Tiktok.
What kind of candies are not synthetic? Cotton candies.
What do you get when you differentiate amazon? Amazon prime.
What do you call an electrician who has detective quality? Sherlock Ohms.
What happened to the man who forgot to pay his electricity bills? He was Ohm-less.
Why can’t you trust a guy named Amit? Because he is a myth.
What do you call it when your toothpaste is over? Toothpast.
Which app does Thanos love the most? Snap Chat.
What was Hawkeye’s shield made off? Quicksilver.
What do you call a class congested with graphic designers? Graphic jam.
How can you see dreams more clearly? Sleep with your specs on.
What do you call a mountain that is funny? Hill-arious.
What’s the opposite of E-no? Eyes.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD
Who has two hands and a face but no legs and no arms? A clock.

Using Kid Jokes

Did you know that there are many benefits when kids hear and tell jokes? Jokes can provide physical, social, and emotional benefits. Better coping skills and providing an outlet when things get tough are a few of the benefits. So let’s tell some good jokes!

Why did the pumpkin patch scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What did one traffic light say to the other? Don’t look, I’m changing!

Why don’t seagulls fly in the bay? Because then they would be BAGELS!

Why did Adele cross the road? Because she wanted to say Hello to the other side!

So bookmark this page and pull it up on your phone and have fun sharing these corny jokes with your favorite people. They are perfect to use during dinner, on car rides, and while waiting in lines.

What’s So Funny?

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy!

Whether it is a Dad Joke, a Knock Knock Joke, a Birthday Joke, or a School Joke for Kids, there is healing in laughter! And laughter bonds people together, so as your joke provider I am writing you and your family a prescription to use jokes at all your family gatherings!

Best Jokes For All Seasons

Before you go, I’ve got you covered for holiday joking. Let me know in the comments what your favorite joke is and how you plan to the jokes!

I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.