Cowboy Jokes

Welcome to the Wild West! We’ve compiled a list of our favorite best cowboy jokes from the dusty trail, sure to provide you with a good laugh.

Whether you’re looking for some soft chuckles or rib-tickling gags, these cowboy jokes will be sure to bring out your inner cowboy. So grab your spurs and settle in for a great time of cowboy humor! You won’t regret it. Now let’s get galloping!

1. What did the cowboy say to the artist? Draw!
2. What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat? Time to get a new cowboy hat!
3. What do cowboys call midnight? High moon.
4. What do cowboys put on their salads? Ranch dressing.
5. What do you call a really happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!
6. What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon? “Yeet haw!”
7. What will you get if you ever cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh? You will get Darn Tutankhamun!
8. Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side? So they can fit three in the pickup.
9. What zen life lesson do cowboys teach their cows? Try to turn the udder cheek and moooove on.
10. What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex!
11. How do you refer to a cowboy who is suffering from gastric distress? You definitely call him Wyatt Burp!
12. Where do Viking Cowboys go when they die? Y’allhalla.
13. What kind of attire do the ghosts of cowboys wear? They only wear booooo-ts!
14. What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hopalong Cassidy.
15. Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny? Because he was always horsing around.
16. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy.
17. What do you call a dinosaur in a cowboy hat? T-Tex
18. How did the cowboy save so much money? His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day!
19. Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on? He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
20. What is the favorite type of car for all the cowboys? It most definitely is an Audi, partner!
21. What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe? His horse is walking around in his socks.
22. Where do cowboys cook their beans? On the range.
23. What was the artistic cowboy really good at? Drawing.
24. Which Hollywood cowboy is the best at starting campfires? Flint Eastwood!
25. What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A saddle light dish.
26. What do you say when you see a cowboy who has placed his foot across the border of Canada? You say his leg is in Canada, just aboot!
27. Why do cowboys always ride horses? Because they’re far too heavy to carry!
28. Why did the cowboy make a bed out of straw? To feed his night mares.
29. What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of trumping? Darn Tootin’!
30. How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle? A tractor beam.
31. Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck? He needed a pick-up line.
32. Which is a cowboy’s favourite soccer team? Spurs!
33. What did the young cowboy say when his sweet little dog went missing? “Doggone!”
34. What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument? “Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!”
35. What do you call someone who wears cowboy clothes? Ranch dressin’
36. How did the cowboy know his cattle were behind him without looking? He herd them.
37. What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting and singing? A stage coach!
38. Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick? Goth Brooks.
39. If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it? The horse’s name is Friday!
40. How did the cowboy become so rich? His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.
41. Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class? Because they’re always rounding things up!
42. What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life? Reintarnation.
43. What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of farting? “Darn tootin’.”
44. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo? “This ain’t my first rodeo.”
45. What do they call cowboy Santa? The jolly rancher
46. Where did the cowboy drive his cattle to? Moo York!
47. What do you call a retired old cowboy? De-ranged.
48. What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon? A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
49. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? He has got no beef.
50. How did the cowboy get to the hockey game? On a Zam-pony
51. How do cowboys keep their cattle keep quiet? Press the moooote button!
52. Why was the cowboy sad? He couldn’t giddy-up.
53. Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck? He needed a pick up line.
54. Why did the cowboy take hay to bed? To feed his nightmares.
55. Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job on the ranch? He couldn’t keep his calves together!
56. What illness can cowboys catch from their horses? Bronc-itis!
57. What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car? A cattle-lack.
58. What is the first rule cowboys learn before filling up a canteen? To go upstream from the herd.
59. Who do the Cowboy zombies battle every season? The DEADskins.
60. Where do cowboys take their herd for lunch? To the calf-eteria!
61. Why are so many cowboys also gamblers? Because they always like raising the steaks!
62. Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who is the smartest? The one in the middle because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.
63. Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class? Because they’re always rounding things up.
64. Where do cowboys go to think things over? The ponder-osa.
65. How do cowboys keep their cattle relaxed? By playing them some calming moooosic!
66. How does a cowboy usually greet an equestrian? “Howdy Neigh-bor”.
67. Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet? Maple stirrups.
68. What do cowboys make when the sun comes up? Shadows.
69. What was the name of the frog cowboy? Hopalong Cassidy
70. What do you call a cowboy who works in finance? The loan arranger.
71. What lesson did the cowboy teach all of his children? Never squat with your spurs on.
72. What did the Jedi say to the cowboy? May the horse be with you.
73. How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a tire? One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
74. What do cowboys put on their pancakes? Log Cabin syrup
75. What is the secret to cowboys being extremely rich? I think the only reason is that their horse often gives them a few bucks every day!
76. Did you hear the Cowboys had a touchdown in Philadelphia yesterday? It was at the airport!
77. Which side of a cowboy has scruffy hair? The outside.
78. Why don’t cowboys shoo the flies buzzing around them? It’s easier to let them go bare foot.
79. How do you kill a rodeo clown? Go for the juggler!
80. What do the Dallas Cowboys and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
81. How do you keep the Dallas Cowboys out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
82. What did the egg say to the rodeo clown? You crack me up!
83. What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo? Bullogna.
84. What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo? A bulldozer.
85. What is a cowboy’s favourite ice cream? Yee-Häagen-Dazs!
86. What do you call someone who works at a rodeo? An EmployYee.
87. A young cowboy walks into a dirty old Cafe in Montana. He takes a seat at the counter and notices an old cowboy next to him with his arms crossed staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili. A few minutes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up “Sir, if you ain’t gonna eat that would you mind if I did?” “It’s all yours friend.” Says the older cowboy. The young man slides the bowl to himself and starts spooning the delicious chili into his mouth. He gets near the bottom of the bowl and notices that there is a dead mouse in the chili. He immediately throws up all the chili back into the bowl and looks over at the old cowboy next to him who says “Yeah that’s about as far as I got too. “
88. What’s a rodeo clown’s favorite type of bar? A honky tonk!
89. What do you call a cowboy with A truckload of sheep? A pimp!
90. What’s the first cowboy rule of filling up a canteen? Always go upstream from the herd.
91. How do German cowboys greet each other? “Audi, partner!”
92. A cowboy enters a saloon and says to the bartender “Give me a drink for a real man!” The bartender served him a shot of whisky, but the cowboy spits it out and yell, “This stuff is for kids… give me something for a man!” Bartender makes a mix of some of the most powerful stuff he had available, even adding some kerosene, hot sauce, and finishing with a 45 caliber bullet. “Now THAT’s something good!” At that, the cowboy paid for the drink and left. A week later, the cowboy returns, “Give me another of those man drinks, but hold the bullet. Last week I threw a fart and killed the horse.”
93. Why did the cowboy want to buy a dachshund? To git along little doggie.
94. Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!”He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a hambush.
95. How did the cowboy react when he bought a new yo-yo? He simply said, “Well, this ain’t my first yo-yo”.
96. What did Kenny Rogers do after his favorite cowboy boots snapped into two pieces? In tribute to his cowboy boots, he wrote the song ‘You picked a fine time to leave me, loose heel’.
97. Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo? A bronco-saurus!
98. What do young cowgirls call their lifelong buddies? Best Friends for Heifer!
99. What does a millennial cowboy say? Yeet-haw!
100. What do you call a cowboy who helps out at school? The deputy head!
101. Why don’t cowboys make good lovers? Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

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