Bear Jokes

Welcome to our hilarious collection of bear jokes! We’ve gathered together a variety of funny jokes about bears that are sure to make you laugh out loud. Let’s see how many you can make your friends roar with laughter!

1. What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack? Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
2. What do you call a bear with three ears? Bearearear
3. What bear goes around scaring other animals? Winnie the Boo!
4. What do you call a confused panda? Bamboozled.
5. Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center? It was panda-monium.
6. Why aren’t koalas considered bears? They don’t have the right koala-fications
7. How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod? With your BEAR hands.
8. What do you call bears with no ears? B.
9. What does a teddy bear say when he’s eaten too much? I’m stuffed!
10. Why did the teddy bear say no to the ice cream? He was beyond stuffed.
11. Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
12. What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies.
13. What do Winnie the Pooh, Atilla the Hun, and Smokey the Bear have in common? The same middle name.
14. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear? Winnie the PU!
15. What is the teddy bear’s favourite food? Stuffing.
16. Wet bear, what do you call it? A drizzly bear.
17. What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend? Hunny.
18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
19. How do bears travel when they go on vacation? Bear-o-planes.
20. How do you stop a bear from charging? Cancel it’s credit card.
21. What’s a teddy bears favorite pasta? Tagliateddy!
22. What color socks do bears wear? They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
23. How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go!
24. What does a bear with crooked teeth need? Bear-aces.
25. What’s a teddy bear’s favorite type of pie? Blue-bear-y.
26. Why did Mother Nature make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
27. What do you call a teddy bear and a pig? A teddy boar.
28. What was the scary movie the bear refused to watch? The Bear Witch Project.
29. What’s the best way to say sorry to a teddy bear? To bear your heart and soul.
30. Why do pandas like old movies? Because they’re in black and white.
31. Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head? Yoga Bear.
32. What do you get when you cross a bear with a garden? Squash!
33. What’s white, furry and shaped like a tooth? A molar bear.
34. What do you call a bear that jumps and never lands? Peter Pan-da.
35. How come bears have fur coats? Because they look silly wearing kagoules!
36. What did the teddy bear say to motivate his friend? “Nothing is impawsible, if you set your mind to it.”
37. Why didn’t the baby leave his momma? Because he couldn’t bear it!
38. Who’s a bear’s favorite poet? William Shakesbeare.
39. What do you call a teddy bear at the North Pole? Lost
40. What do grizzlies do when they are having a bad day in the forest? Grin and bear it.
41. What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A panda rolling down a hill.
42. How can pandas get to a hospital quickly? In a bamboolance.
43. Why do bears not eat fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
44. What did the panda pack in her suitcase? The bear necessities.
45. What is a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala!
46. Why did the bear need to take a break? He just likes to paws and reflect sometimes.
47. Why do polar bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place!
48. What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice burgers.
49. What do you call a boy panda? A man-da!
50. When it rains, what do bears do? They get wet.
51. What do you call 2020? A panda-emic.
52. What does pooh eat at parties? Blue bear-y pie.
53. What’s brown, furry and has twelve paws? The Three Bears!
54. What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert.
55. Why was the little bear so badly behaved? Because his Mum panda’d to him!
56. What’s wrong with wrestling with bears? The pain is unbearable.
57. Why did the panda quit his job? He was getting bear minimum wage.
58. Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the bear minimum.
59. Why was the bear a good fit for the job? He had all the right koalifications.
60. Where did Goldilocks fall asleep? At the Three Bores house!
61. Why do bears have fur coats? Because they look silly wearing jackets.
62. What do you call a freezing bear? A brrrr!
63. How about a bear’s favorite after-school activity? Cub Scouts!
64. What do you call a bear that says he never wants to grow up? Peter Panda.
65. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A bear faced lyre!
66. Why did the bear go to the flea markets? He was on the search for the best beargain.
67. Which is the scariest fairy-tale? Ghouldilocks and the Three Brrrrs!
68. You shouldn’t take a bear to the zoo, so why not? Because they’d rather go to the movies.
69. How do bears keep their houses cool in summer? Bear conditioning.
70. What does the husband panda bear tell his wife every night? “I love you beary much!”
71. What is as big as a bear but weighs nothing? Its shadow!
72. What is a bear’s favorite kind of chocolate? Cadbeary Eggs.
73. What’s a polar bear’s favorite food? Eskimo pies
74. What kind of car do bears drive? Fur-aris.
75. What is a polar bear’s favourite food? Iceberg lettuce.
76. How can you tell whether a bear is moving? They put up a ‘fur sale’ sign up.
77. What types of drawings are panda bears really good at drawing? Self paw-traits.
78. What do you call a grizzly bear in a phone booth? Stuck!
79. Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda’d to its every need.
80. Why can’t the polar bears watch TV? They ‘PAWS’d it
81. Why do bears have sticky fur? Because they use honey combs.
82. What do you call a polar bear with a hole in his belly? A polo bear.
83. What did everyone tell the mommy panda about her newborn cub? Your baby is beary, beary cute.
84. A bear without ears, what would you call it? A b.
85. Why did the bear quit his second job? He needed some koala-ty time with his family.
86. What did the bear say when he fell down the stairs? How embearassing.
87. Why did the polar bear go to the bank? To seal the deal
88. What do you call a cemetery for bears? Bearial grounds.
89. Where do polar bears have to go to vote? They drive to the North Poll!
90. What did the bear say after looking at the GPS? “Give me a second to get my bearings!”
91. Why do pandas save money printing photos? Most of their pics are black and white.
92. What do you call a bear with a bad attitude? The bearer of bad news.
93. What do you call a male bear with a rubber toe? Rubeartoe.
94. What did the polar bear say to the seal on the bike? My meal has wheels
95. What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs? An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
96. Why don’t polar bears eat penguins? They can’t open the wrappers with their paws.
97. How about something small and cuddly and purple? A koala holding his breath.
98. Which poet do koala bears love? Shakesbear.
99. Where do teenage polar bears go to dance? The snow-ball.
100. What did the boy grizzly bear say to the girl grizzly bear on their wedding day? I can’t wait to growl old with you.
101. What did the polar bears call the sleeping campers? Burr-itos
102. What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo? There was panda-monium.
103. Why couldn’t the koala go out to eat? He’s a picky eater.
104. What do you call a polar bear in Florida? A solar bear.
105. How would you describe a bear that has extreme mood swings? A bi-polar-bear.
106. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have ‘the’ as their middle names!
107. How does a bear stop a movie? It hits the paws button.
108. Why did the two bears break-up? As much as they tried to make it work, they were just polar opposites.
109. How do bears send a letter? They use bear mail.
110. What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend? Honey.
111. What’s the secret to a long, happy marriage, according to koalas? You have to love spending koalaty time together with your spouse.
112. What do you need for a wedding in the jungle? A Flower gorilla and a ring bear.
113. What’s a koala’s favorite drink? A root bear float.
114. What’s yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear’s forgotten cousin!
115. What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear!
116. How did the grizzly bear walk in the snow? Bear foot
117. What do you call a teddy bear who rides a bike everywhere? Schwinnie the Pooh.

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