Math Jokes

If you were looking for the funniest math jokes, you’re in the right place! These math jokes are a great way to put a smile on your math teacher’s face!

eggs painted like emojis in a cardboard carton

I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something.
What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re pointless.”
How does a mathematician plow fields? With a pro-tractor.
What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree? Geometry.
Parallel lines have so much in common … It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
What do you call more than one L? A parallel!
Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school? Because she sprained her angle.
I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
Did you hear about the over-educated circle? It has 360°!
What shape is usually waiting for you inside a Starbucks? A line.
Why doesn’t anybody talk to circles? Because there’s no point.
Why was the obtuse triangle always upset? Because it’s never right.
What do geometry teachers have decorating their floor? Area rugs!
What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm? Make snow angles!
Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven? The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180°”.
Why was math class so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? The teacher told him not to use tables.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you solve any equation? Multiply both sides by zero.
Which tables do you not have to learn? Dinner tables!
Surgeon: Nurse, I have so many patients. Who do I work on first? Nurse: Simple, follow the order of operations.
I met a math teacher who had 12 children. She really knows how to multiply!
Why was the student confused when he went from English class to math class? Because he was taught that a double negative in English is bad, but in math, it’s a positive.
What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.
Why was Mr. Gilson’s class so noisy? He liked to practice gong division!
Why did the girl wear glasses during math class? It improved di-vision.
A father noticed his son was sad coming home from school one day. “What’s wrong?” The father asked. “I really don’t like long division,” the son answered, “I always feel bad for the remainders.”
What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of math? Dive-ision!
Do you know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
Do you know what’s odd? Every other number!
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine!
A talking sheepdog rounds up all the sheep into the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says, “Okay, Chief — all 40 sheep accounted for”. The farmer says, “But I’ve counted them and I’ve only got 36!” The sheepdog replies, “I know, but I rounded them up.”
I hired an odd man to do eight jobs for me. When I got back, he’d only done jobs one, three, five, and seven.
What are ten things you can always count on? Your fingers.
Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.
Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents!
What did the spelling book say to the math book? “I know I can count on you!”
Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three, five, or seven? Because they can’t even!
What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
Why did the two fours skip lunch? They already eight!
How do you make seven an even number? Remove the S.
Which king loved fractions? Henry the ⅛.
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator… But only a fraction would understand.
How are a dollar and the moon similar? They both have four quarters!
Why did ⅕ go to the masseuse? Because it was two-tenths!
How do we know the fractions, x/c, y/c, and z/c, are all in Europe? They’re all over c’s!
Have you heard the one about the statistician? Probably.
A statistician got soaking wet trying to cross a river. He thought he could cross, because it was one-foot deep on average.
Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average? It was a ‘mean’ thing to say.
A statistics professor and a math professor worked together on a cookbook. They called it “Pi A La Mode”.
A mathematician sees three people go into a building. Later she sees four people leave. When she is asked how many people are in the building she replies, “Well, if one person enters the house it’ll be empty.”
Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject? It’s just average.
Why did Pi get its driver’s license revoked? Because it didn’t know when to stop.
You should never start a conversation with Pi. It’ll just go on and on forever.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
Mathematician: πr2(Pi r squared). Baker: No! Pies are round and cakes are square!
Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table? Sir Cumference. How did he get so round? He ate too many π’s.
What’s the official animal of Pi day? The Pi-thon!
What do you call two friends who love math? Algebros.
In the expression x3, what do you call 3? An x-ponent
In the expression 𝑦2, what do you call the 2? A 𝑦-ponent.
Do you know why seven eight nine? Because you’re supposed to eat three squared meals a day!
Why did the boy refuse to drink the water with eight ice cubes in it? Because it’s too cubed!
Why do atheists have trouble with exponents? They don’t believe in higher powers!
Teacher: What is 2n plus 2n? Student: I’m not sure. That sounds 4n to me.
Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer? Because you can use the algo-rhythm!
Why was the math book so sad? Because it had so many problems.
What is a bird’s favorite type of math? Owl-gebra.
Which snakes are good at math? Adders.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Who’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler.
A student asked their teacher if they would have any problems on the upcoming test. The teacher replied, “I think you’ll have lots of problems on the test.”
It’s always a good idea to bring a mathematician camping. They come prepared with a pair of axis.
What shape do you always have to be careful of? A trap-azoid!
I don’t get the point of decimals. I’m more partial to fractions.
I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch. He could binomials.
What did one algebra book say to the other? “Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.”
When you keep missing math class it starts to really add up.
What did the bee say when it solved the problem? “Hive got it!”
What’s a math teacher’s favorite season? SUMmer!
Why is math considered to be codependent? It relies on others to solve its problems.
What math problem do German students have trouble answering? Do you know what the square root of 81 is? 9!
What do you call a number that can’t sit still? A roamin’ numeral!
What did the student say about the equation she couldn’t solve? “This is derive-ing me crazy!”
What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school? Mothematics.
What is a math teacher’s favorite season? SUMmer.
What’s a swimmer’s favorite math? Dive-ision.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? Because it was over 90 degrees.
What did the acorn say when it grew up? Ge-om-e-try! (Gee, I’m a tree!)
Teacher: Why are you turning in a blank sheet of paper? Student: Because all my answers are imaginary numbers.
What is a math teacher’s favorite snake? A pi-thon.
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
What do you call an empty parrot cage? A polygon. (A polly gone.)
What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter? Pi in the sky.
Why was the equal sign so humble? He knew he wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? A tangent. (A tan gent.)
Who invented arithmetic? Henry the 1/8.
What do baby parabolas drink? Quadratic formula.
What is a math teacher’s favorite vacation destination? Times Square!
What do you call a number that just can’t stand still? A “roamin’” numeral.
Have you heard the latest statistics joke? Probably.
I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
Why should you never mention the number 288? Because it’s “two” gross.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
Did you hear that old math teachers never die? They just lose some of their functions.
How do you keep warm in a cold room? You go to the corner. It’s always 90 degrees!
A farmer counted 396 cows in his field. But when he rounded them up, he had 400.
Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher? Use acute angle.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What’s the best way to serve pi? A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river? It was three feet deep on average.
Why doesn’t calculus throw major house parties? Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
Why do math teachers love parks so much? Because of all the natural logs.
How do you do math in your head? Just use imaginary numbers.
Why was the math lecture so long? The professor kept going off on a tangent.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
How do you get from point A to point B? Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you? It’s really as easy as pi!

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