Skeleton Puns are sure to tickle your funny bones and cause your spare ribs to ache. If you’re in the mood for a few laughs, you’ll love these skeleton jokes. Bone-afide funniness ahead! You might even have a few bones to pick with me over which ones are the best!

Here at Skip to My Lou, the skeleton key to telling Halloween jokes is saying them with a straight face. Don’t be a lazy bones and practice telling jokes so you won’t suck! (Vampire pun!) here are some more for you to check out; Nut Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up and Pet Puns.

Skeleton Puns

  1. Skeletons don’t lie. They always speak the truth because they always want tibia honest!
  2. The famous skeleton, Sherlock Bones, caught the criminal just from a trivial hunch. He claimed he could just feel it in his bones.
  3. The skeleton got a job in the jazz band. He has been recruited as the trom-bone player.
  4. The skeleton loved traveling and went on trips that included adventure sports like paragliding and cliff diving. He was just bone to be wild.
  5. A skeleton went to the hospital to donate his body for medical sciences. So the doctor asked him to spine on the dotted line!
  6. Ain’t nobody gonna Rib us apart.
  7. There was a skeleton who always lied to his friends. So his friends named him ‘phoney-ba-boney’!
  8. Upon producing very good results at work, his manager gave the efficient skeleton a bone-us.
  9.  I saw a skeleton starting a fight. So I asked the reason why to which he replied that he had a bone to pick!
  10. Why were the workers unable to complete the job on time? Because they had a skeleton crew!
  11. There was a skeleton who always failed all his examinations in school because he was a numskull!
  12. A scared skeleton always finds it hard to look at other skeletons because he doesn’t have the stomach to see them!
  13. There was a skeleton who was a botanist. His favorite kind of tree was a bone-sai tree.
  14. Legless skeletons are asked to avoid arguments because they apparently don’t have a leg to stand on.
  15. I saw a skeleton who was a famous stand-up comic. All his jokes were extremely humerus!
  16. Once, two skeletons were having an animated conversation. When one started stretching the truth of the story, the other said, “Is that a little fib-ula?”
  17. The skeleton found it extremely hard to get out of bed as he was bone-tired!
  18. The skeleton was sick, so he went up to his doctor and said, “I think I am a little sick, I have a femur”!
  19. Skeletons have a funny way of celebrating their favorite holidays. They just eat, drink and be very scary!
  20. Whenever skeletons need to repair their cars, they take them to the body shop.
  21. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A tromBone.
  22. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? “Bone Appetit!
  23. What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game? Driving the zam-boney.
  24. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  25. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with.
  26. What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
  27. What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A bone-zai.
  28. Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
  29. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
  30. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke? Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
  31. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  32. How do French skeletons say hello? “Bone-jour!
  33. ”What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell? A dead ringer.
  34. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
  35. What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton? “You’re dead to me.
  36. ”Why didn’t the skeleton play football? His heart wasn’t in it.
  37. Why did the skeleton go to jail? Because he was bad to the bone.
  38. Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
  39. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? “Will you marrow me?
  40. ”When does a skeleton laugh? When someone tickles his funny bone.
  41. What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work? Lazy bones.
  42. Why do skeletons hate the cold? It sends chills up their spine.
  43. What do you call a skeleton snake? A rattler.
  44. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
  45. Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
  46. What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long? He became bone dry.
  47. What kind of TV does a skeleton watch? A skelevision.
  48. What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks? It came back with a skeleton crew.
  49. Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes? Because they have a funny bone.
  50. What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on? Bone china.
  51. What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport? A scare-plane.
  52. What does a skeleton fly in if his scare-plane isn’t available? A skele-copter.
  53. What do skeletons say when they set off to sea? “Bone voyage!
  54. ”What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital? Jawbreakers.
  55. What do skeletons hate the most about the wind? Nothing. It goes right through them.
  56. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? Because he didn’t have the guts.
  57. What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
  58. What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch? A spine-tingler.
  59. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
  60. Who is the most famous French skeleton? Napolean Bone-aparte.
  61. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? “You suck.
  62. ”Who is the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
  63. What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees? “Looks like you are running a femur.”
  64. What’s a skeleton’s favorite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
  65. What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat? Carpals.
  66. What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band? Bone Jovi.
  67. Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To see the boogie man.
  68. What is half the diameter of a skeletal circle? The radius.
  69. Why did the skeleton student stay late at school? He was boning up for his exam.
  70. What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music? A hip-ster.
  71. What do bony people use to get into their homes? A skeleton key.
  72. What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone? Take skelfies.
  73. Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton? They couldn’t pin anything on him.
  74. How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying? He could see right through him.
  75. What Spanish food do skeletons enjoy most? Patella.
  76. What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle? “I’m bone to be wild!
  77. ”Why did the skeleton go to the hospital? To have his ghoul bladder removed.
  78. What do you call a lie told by a skeleton? A fibula.
  79. What did the skeleton say to his wife? “I love every bone in your body.
  80. ”What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton? Cranium operator.
  81. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
  82. How much does an elephant skeleton weigh? Skele-tons.
  83. How did skeletons send mail back in the olden days? The bony express.
  84. What type of art do skeletons like?Skulltures!
  85. Why do skeletons drink so much milk?It’s good for the bones!
  86. What do skeletons complain about? Aching bones.
  87. Why did the skeleton go to acting classes? He wanted tibia star.
  88. Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong? In the skelebin.
  89. Why can’t skeletons fly over Area 51? It was a no-fly-bone.
  90. What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most? Elbow macaroni.
  91. Who is a skeleton’s favorite female movie star? Ulna Thurman.
  92. What kind of jokes do skeletons tell? Humerus ones.
  93. What does a skeleton use to cut through objects? A shoulder blade.
  94. What kind of birds do skeletons like? Sea skulls.
  95. What do you call a skeleton who likes to hang out at coffee shops and listen to indie music? A hip-ster.
  96. What do you call a military formation of skeletons? A phalanx
  97. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? It could feel it in it’s bones.
  98. Why do skeletons like to drink milk? Because milk is so good for the bones!
  99. What does a skeleton use to call his friends? A tele-bone.
  100. Why did the little skeleton pretend to be sick? He didn’t want to go to skull!
  101. Where do skeletons take their cars? To the body shop.
  102. Why can’t skeletons work in the mines? Because they only go six feet under.
  103. How do skeletons celebrate special occasions? They eat, drink, and be scary.
  104. What’s a skeleton’s coolest body part? The hip.
  105. Why was the job not getting done? They were working with a skeleton crew.
  106. What is a skeleton’s favorite treat? Bone-bones.
  107. What was the skeleton’s favorite line from Shakespeare? Tibia or not tibia.
  108. What do you call a skeleton’s funny bone? It’s humerus.
  109. What name do skeletons call each other when they make mistakes? Bonehead.
  110. How do skeletons get ready for Halloween night? They bleach their bones bright white.
  111. Why did the skeleton go to the school dance? To find a body to dance with.
  112. What do you call a tiny lie told by a skeleton? A little fib-ula.
  113. Where did the skeleton keep his pet bird? In his rib cage.
  114. Who is the King of Rock and Roll for all skeletons? Pelvis
  115. How does a skeleton relax and get clean? She takes a milk bath.
  116. What store do skeletons love to snack at when they visit the mall? Cinnabone.
  117. How does a skeleton pay for stuff? With crypt-o-currency.
  118. Who won the skeleton beauty contest. No body won.
  119. How do you tease a foolish skeleton? Call him a bonehead.
  120. What did the golden retriever say to the skeleton? Throw a dog a bone!
  121. What’s a name for skeletons living on an island? Thoracic Park
  122. Where do teenage skeletons go for class? Highskull.
  123. What do you get when you pat a skeleton on the back? A spinal tap.
  124. Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed? She was bone tired!
  125. Why did the skeleton want to go out to the night club? He heard it was a hip joint.
  126. What is a skeletons favorite fruit? Spineapple.
  127. What is a Vietnamese skeleton’s favorite food? Bone-mi.
  128. How does a skeleton cut up his steak dinner? With a boning knife.
  129. Why did the skeleton have a broken heart? His Boney lay over the ocean.
  130. Why did the young skeleton get in trouble at school? He told a fib-ula.
  131. What indie rock band do teenage skeletons love the most? Bone Iver.
  132. How does the skeleton secret agent like his martini? Bone dry.
  133. What did the two skeletons get up to behind closed doors? Bone-dage.
  134. What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi? Bone-ito flakes.
  135. What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear? Skullcaps.
  136. How do you keep food warm at a skeleton buffet? Put it in the Bone-marie.
  137. Why was the skeleton a success at work? He had a head for business.
  138. What kind of grass grows on a skeletons lawn? Spine-ifex.
  139. Why did Dr Frankenstein employ the skeleton? The skeleton was a body snatcher.
  140. Why was the skeleton not upset that his wife had an affair? He didn’t have a jealous bone in his body.
  141. Why did the skeleton go to the butcher? He was hoping to put some flesh on his bones.
  142. Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest? Because sticks and stones will break them bones.
  143. Why did the skeleton have to testify in court? Because he was a body of evidence.
  144. Why were the skeletons’ fingers missing? Because he had worked them to the bone.
  145. Why did the skeletons go to the nudist beach? It was the best place for them to be bare bones.
  146. Why was the skeleton scared of the baby? Because he was an ankle biter.
  147. What do you call a heavy skeleton?A skeletonne.
  148. How did the skeleton get his cattle to the slaughter house? He drove them in his CAR-cass.
  149. Where do naughty skeletons buy concert tickets from? They buy them from a ticket scapula.
  150. How did the skeleton learn the rumor about his friend? He heard it from the Skull-ttlebutt.
  151. How does a French skeleton say good night? Bone-soir.
  152. What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free? Pro Bone-O.
  153. What happened to the skeleton who spent too long in the ocean? He got Bone-acles.

Bone Puns, Skeletons and More

One day the skeleton was modeling some clay, later that day he called his friends over to see his skull-pture.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had nobody to dance with.

Why are the skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

What is George Thorogood’s favorite Halloween song? Bad to the Bone.

Name a skeleton’s favorite plant? The bone-zai tree, of course.

Which kind of plate do french skeletons dine on? Bone china, naturally.

What is a zombie’s doorbell called? A dead ringer.

Where does the little skeleton keep his pet skullture? In a rib cage, silly!

More Fun Halloween Jokes and PUns

Let’s look at rounding out your event with goodies galore. These are so good, even the skeleton will cross the road to get some!

I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.

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  1. Is there anything more perfect for getting your kids to laugh in October than skeleton puns? I think not! These are great!

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