Let’s have some fun with the cheesiest collection cheese jokes we put together just for you! With jokes about cheese, sing songs about it, and even festivals dedicated to it – we know we aren’t alone in our love for cheesy things!

All the best CHEESE Jokes

  1. Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Because of baby cheese-us!
  2. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese? Gorgonzilla
  3. What is a cheese diet? Eating curds and weigh!
  4. Did you buy a lot of cheese today? Yes, I bought a Tunworth!
  5. What cheese can you use to clean your teeth? Dental schloss
  6. What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke? There was a meltdown!
  7.  What is cheese without a cracker? Crackalackin!
  8. When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it’s too Gouda be true!
  9.  Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries!
  10. Why did Lewis Hamilton have too much cheese? Because he won the Grand Brie!
  11. What did I do with my cheese handkerchief? I bleu my nose!
  12. Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced? It had grater plans!
  13. When can’t you see a cheese? When it’s  pasteurised.
  14. What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Looking Gouda!
  15. What’s a cheese’s favourite TV channel? The Brie Brie C!
  16. What did Mr Cheese say to the shop assistant when she selected the wrong size dress for his wife? That won’t Feta!
  17. What do they shout out at Pantomimes? He’s Brie-hind you!
  18. What did the cheese say to the therapist? I Camembert it any longer!
  19. What does a cheese alcoholic call for? Morbier!
  20. I wanted cottage with my meal.
  21. So I ordered from the a la curd menu!
  22. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
  23. When should you keep an eye on your cheese? When it’s up to no Gouda!
  24. How did the cheese paint his wife? He Double Gloucester!
  25. What do cheese markers dance to on Halloween? The Muenster mash!
  26. What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I’m Lac-ghost intolerant!
  27. What did the teenage cheese yell at its parents? Leave me provolone!
  28. What kind of music does cheese like? Roquefort ‘n’ Roll
  29. What other kind of music does cheese listen to? R’n’brie
  30. What kind of weather is extra cheesy? Partly cloudy with a light bries.
  31. What did one cheese say to cheer the other up? You’re a gouda friend, it’s gonna brie ok.
  32. What did the cheese say to her boyfriend? “We look gouda to-feta.”
  33. What did the cheese do with a Kleenex? It bleu its nose.
  34. What did the cheese say to his boss when he quit? “I’m leaving this place! I’m feta up!”
  35. Why did the chicken cross the road made of cheese? He wanted to feta to the other side.
  36. Why did the cheese turn down the offer? It sounded to gouda to be true
  37. Why did the cheese refuse to be cut? He had grater plans for his life.
  38. What do you do to make a mouse smile? Say cheese!
  39. What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.
  40. What does cheese shout at slasher movies? “Look out! The killer’s brie-hind you!”
  41. What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with? Camembert.
  42. What cheese can you disguise a small horse with? Mascapone.
  43. Which cheese is the smartest? Cheese Whiz.
  44. What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam.
  45. What’s a Pirates favourite cheese? Chedd-AAR.
  46. What did the detective say to the suspected cheese thief? “I believe you’ve been up to no gouda.”
  47. What do cheese salesmen say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
  48. What did the cheddar say when he tried on a blazer? “I look sharp!”
  49. What did the cheese say to its doctor? “Help me doc! I Camembert the pain any longer!”
  50. Which cheese is an alcoholic? Livarot.
  51. What does cheese ask for at the pub? Morbier!
  52. How did the cheese paint his wife? He double Gloucester.
  53. What’s the cheesiest line in Shakespeare? “To brie, or not to brie, that is the question!”
  54. What dance does cheese do on Halloween? The Munster Mash
  55. Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
  56. What’s a cheese’s favorite holiday? Halloumi-ween
  57. Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the Roquefort back.
  58. What did the cheese say in the haunted house? “I gotta get out of here, I’m lac-ghost intolerant.”
  59. When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds.
  60. What costume does cheese wear on Halloween? It dresses up like a muenster
  61. Why does cheese look sane? Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
  62. What do you say when you have cheese but no crackers? I’m cracklackin!
  63. Which cheese does the pope like most? Swiss cheese, it’s holey.
  64. What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East? Cheeses of Nazareth.
  65. How does cheese get curly hair? It gets a perm-esean
  66. Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese? Because she was getting Feta and Feta.
  67. What did the man say when someone threw dough, tomato sauce, and cheese at him? “You wanna pizza me?!”
  68. Why did the clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn’t get his Stilton. (C Trial)
  69. What would be a Cornish pirate’s favourite cheese? Yarrrrrrg. (S Humprery)
  70. What did the cheese say to the sales clerk when she brought her the wrong size? This dress doesn’t feta.
  71. Why did they smother the burrito in cheese sauce? It was the best queso scenario.
  72. Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree No, but an applewood. (M Lane)
  73. What cheese did the basketball player eat before his big game? Swish cheese.
  74. Why did the French washed rind jump off a bridge? He couldn’t take it any Langres. (A Jacob)
  75. Where’s the cheese grater? Some say Italy, others say France. Depends on what you like.
  76. What did the queen say when someone through cheese at her? …….”How Dairy”
  77. What did the cheese say to cheer their friend on? “I brie-lieve in you!”
  78. What’s Mickey’s favorite cheese? Mouse-erella
  79. Which cheese is a cannibal’s favorite? Limburger
  80. What d’you say to get rid of an old French cheese? It’s Tomme to go.
  81. What do you call hawks made of cheese? Curds of prey.
  82. What do you call a cheese’s enemy? His arch nemeswiss.
  83. What is cheese’s favorite pasta? Feta-cine.
  84. What did one cheese say to the other? I’m quite fondue you.
  85. What did the block of cheese say to the taco? Let’s shred light on the matter.
  86. What is your favorite sushi condiment? Wasabrie.
  87. Where did the cheese go on vacation? The Golden Grate Bridge.
  88. Why did cheddar think the cottage cheese went bad? It curdled.
  89. Why does everyone love mozzarella? It’s cheesygoing.
  90. What did cheddar say to Gouda? I need to asiago you a question.
  91. What did the person say when they ate too much cheese? My clothes won’t feta.
  92. Why was the cheese sent to his room? He needed to mature.
  93. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
  94. What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
  95. What did the detective cheese say to the suspect cheese? I smell something swiss-picious.
  96. What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
  97. What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesy credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
  98. Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the “Big Cheese.”
  99. What’s the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm.
  100. Do you know why Christmas in Cheeseland is considered to be the cheesiest time of the year? Because it is the time of the year when cheese-us was born.
  101. What is Tom Hanks’ favorite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
  102. How much cheese did the Gordon family buy for the holidays? A Tunworth.
  103. What happened to Moira at the cheese and wine party? She got Schloss-ed.
  104. What made the cheese tasting date so special? It was a sunny day with cool bries.
  105. Why does the Swiss cheese have holes? Because it wants to keep it light.
  106. How did the cheese ghost scare the crackers? It was hiding brie-hind the container.

More Hilarious Jokes For You

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