It’s back to school season, and that means it’s time for some fun! Whether you’re a student with a case of the pre-semester jitters or a teacher ready to get their classroom going, there is nothing better than a good joke to start off the academic year. We have compiled a huge list of back to school jokes that will make you laugh out loud and lighten the mood. So, take a break from your studies or lesson plans and enjoy! You’ll be sure to get a smile out of your classmates, teachers, friends, family members – even yourself. Get ready for some serious chuckles with these back to school jokes!

Drawings of notebooks with smiley faces on them and cute doodles around them.
  1. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
  2. How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
  3. Why do magicians do so well in school? They’re good at trick questions.
  4. What does your computer do for lunch? Has a byte!
  5. Why was school easier for cave people? Because there was no history to study!
  6. Why did the echo get detention the first day? It kept answering back
  7. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all.
  8. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Because it was always sweeping during class!
  9. Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day? It kept going back four seconds
  10. Why do math books always look so sad? They are full of problems.
  11. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
  12. Why do calculators make great friends? You can count on them
  13. Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  14. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? She had bright students!
  15. Why does a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes
  16. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary? The thesaurus.
  17. What’s the king of all school supplies? The ruler.
  18. What does a book do in the winter? Puts on a jacket.
  19. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Pop quizzes!
  20. What kind of meals do math teachers eat? Square meals
  21. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
  22. Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? I’m glad it’s Friday!
  23. What room can a student never enter? A mushroom
  24. Why did the teacher jump into the pool? He wanted to test the water.
  25. What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? He has only one pupil.
  26. Why is glue bad at math? It always gets stuck on the problems
  27. What should you grow in a school garden? Human beans!
  28. If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have? A delicious fruit salad.
  29. Children in what grade have the greenest thumbs? Kindergarden
  30. What is the smartest insect? A spelling bee.
  31. A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet? In jail!
  32. What did the spider make online? A website
  33. Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane? To achieve a higher education.
  34. Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Because you can’t concentrate!
  35. What flies around the school at night? An alpha-bat
  36. How did you find school today? I simply hopped off the bus – and there it was.
  37. Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs
  38. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate? Sky diving school.
  39. Do you know how bees get to school? On the school buzz!
  40. What did the bully have for lunch? A knuckle sandwich
  41. What contest do skunks win at school? The smelling bee!
  42. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb? Geometry
  43. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? A bookworm
  44. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It’s not right.
  45. What U.S. state has the most math teachers? Mathachussets.
  46. Why is history the sweetest subject? Because it’s full of dates
  47. How can you make seven even? Take away the “s”.
  48. Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom? Because the teacher told him to take a seat
  49. What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together? They had a big class trip
  50. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym? To stay in shape
  51. Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks? To protect himself from mathema-ticks.
  52. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll
  53. What school supply is always tired? A knapsack!
  54. What did the ghost teacher say to his class? Watch the board, and I’ll go through it again
  55. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree? Arithma-sticks.
  56. Why did the student bring scissors to school? Because he wanted to cut class
  57. Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school? He thought it was sundae school.
  58. What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket? Smartie pants
  59. What is white when it’s dirty and black when its clean? A blackboard!
  60. Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows? She wanted it to be very clear for her students.
  61. Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now? A Tummy ache.
  62. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? Stop going in circles and get to the point!
  63. Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school? Heir princi-PAL.
  64. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The “C.”
  65. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur? Knight school.
  66. On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were? June, July & August.
  67. Why did the kid study on an airplane? He wanted a higher education
  68. What’s the king of school supplies? The ruler
  69. What is a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer.
  70. What’s big and yellow that comes every morning to brighten your mom’s day? A school bus
  71. If you had 19 oranges, 11 strawberries, 5 apples and 9 bananas, what would you have? A yummy fruit salad.
  72. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
  73. Where do kids in New York learn multiplication tables? Times Square
  74. Why did the girl wear glasses during math class? To improve her di-vison.
  75. What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train? A teacher says, “Spit out that gum” a steam train says, “Chew chew!”
  76. Why did the dog do so well in school? Because he was the teacher’s pet.
  77. What is a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss tory
  78. Why did the teacher draw on the window? Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
  79. What did the student say when his teacher asked him to pay a little attention on the first day of school? But I’m paying as little attention as I can!
  80. What did the math book say to the history book? You know you can count on me.
  81. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed on the first day of school? She couldn’t control her pupils.
  82. Why was the geometry book so adorable? Because it had acute angles.
  83. Why did the obtuse angle get upset? Because it knew it would never be right.
  84. What kind of school do surfers go to? Boarding school.
  85. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they’re all in high school.

Thousands More Jokes For Any Occasion

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