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Well I have been putting off this post for  weeks now.  Some of you may have noticed posting has slowed greatly around here.  My family has been experiencing some difficulties.  I thought I could just keep “blogging” through as I normally do. For the most part I try to keep this blog a happy place. Often it is my counter balance to a very stressful life. I think I have only mentioned it once. Today I finally decided that really wasn’t helping anybody and in many ways  I am not being authentic by pretending everything is always okay. We have been receiving a tremendous amount support from our friends and in turn if there is anyway possible, we want to pass this goodness forward. We hope in some little way that in sharing our struggles at least one of you will know you are not alone.

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My oldest son, whom is now 16, has Asperger’s Syndrome.  Over the years we have certainly had our ups and downs. For the most part things have been manageable, but for the last couple of months it has been difficult.  We finally realized we could no longer help our son alone.

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So as I write this I am in Denver with my son.  He is in a day treatment program at the Children’s Hospital. It has been bumpy and we often don’t know what the day will bring. We have been here over two weeks. Thankfully my husband and other children were able to join us for one week and experience  some family therapy that was wonderful for building our family back up. I think this will be our final week here, fingers and toes crossed.

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I guess my point in sharing this is to let you know if you find yourself in our spot, you are not alone. I wish I could say something profound to make your situation easier if you too find your family in crisis — maybe that will come later.

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We are learning some valuable lessons:

Rely on Friends

This would have been far to difficult to handle alone. From the former autism consultant graciously opening her home (indefinitely –poor thing) to us while in Denver to the countless friends that have watched our children and made my husband meals, to those friends knowing this adventure would be difficult financially thus sending us off with money, we have been helped beyond belief.

Be Educated.

In the beginning we were, then we stepped away. This never goes away and this is one time ignorance is not bliss. It would have served us well to have kept reading and learning.

Sharpen Your tools.

For us when things went smoothly we closed up our tool box. Looking back we should have used the calm peaceful spells to make sure our (and especially our son’s) coping skills, management skills and tools for living were being honed, practiced and perfected.

Stay Connected.

There is power in numbers. Remember there are other families  dealing with similar issues, really it is never necessary to feel like you are crazy and or alone! My family is living proof.

Be thankful.

Oh believe me this is hard some days, especially now that my life has come to a screeching halt. Everyday though we are reminded through our friends’ and family’s  love and care of God’s unending provision for our lives. How thankful we are for their love and support.

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We are thankful for the countless doctors and clinicians who have taken the time to learn the special nuances of this disorder and make it their life’s work to help these children.

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We are thankful for those teachers that don’t give up, who often are at our house going the extra mile to help our son succeed.

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We are thankful most of all for this amazing bright young man whom we have the honor to call our son.  Daily his obstacles are great yet he keeps putting himself out there. We all could learn from his determination!

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So this is why I haven’t been regularly posting and it might take awhile to get back in the swing of things when I return home, but please don’t be a stranger here , hopefully you can always find something fun in the categories. This blog brings me so much joy! Thank you for stopping by— I appreciate your presence more than you will ever know!

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The photos were taken by my husband on a bike ride through the mountains with a friend and our boys last week.

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Comments

  1. You have an amazing blog…but obviously you’re more amazing as a mother and that’s what counts. Sending you lots of love and prayers to you, your son and your family. ♥

  2. My son has AS as well. It’s a rough road to go down, but I am so happy that there are others out there dealing with the same problem! 🙂 Good luck I know its a day to day thing!

  3. I love your blog and have been following it for about a year. Please know that someone in California is praying for you and your beautiful family!

  4. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and thank you for using a very trying time in your life to help others. You truly are a woman of great strength and integrity to approach even your own trials as an opportunity to ease the burden of someone else’s heart. Remarkable.

  5. Sending positive thoughts to you and your family. I’m so glad you wrote this post. Big hugs.

  6. Peace and healing. I’m glad you posted. Most people have now been touched in some way by autism.
    My heartfelt prayers go out to you and the many beautiful people loving and weather (all that goes with) their special needs kids.

  7. We will pray for your son. I know you must be having a difficult time balancing everything right now. Take care.

    ~Kim

  8. Parenting is the toughest job in the world. There are days where I wish there was a manual I could refer to when I am at a loss.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I understand the struggles a family goes through with a child with special needs. I have a son with behavorial and social problems. Everyday is a new day, one in which we never know how the day is going to go. Sometimes we make it through with little disturbances and others, it’s a battle all day long. It can be draining, lonely and frustrating.

    By all the comments, you have an amazing support group here in “blogland”. I’m glad to hear you also have an amazing group of friends that supports you.

    Good luck and I hope the hospital can bring you the help you need. Take care!

  9. You and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this bit of your life with us.

  10. Thank you for the authenticity! Praying for strength. I hope the treatments go well. Take care.

  11. I’m glad you were able to reach out for a helping hand when you needed one and also glad that you’ve opened up to share your experience! Sending you many positive thoughts and I hope you and your son will be able to go home and resume a peaceful routine soon.

  12. My 16 yr. old son has Aspergers & it seems as though we were all managing up until this year as well. The bottom just seemed to fall out from underneath my son’s world all at once….though looking back, I suppose I can honestly say that it has been a long time coming.

    I have put into place extra supports for my son as well. Like you, my son has attended a day program & additional therapy for several months. I do feel like he is making progress, but I remain cautiously optimistic. I don’t want to be blindsided and caught off guard if those subtle signs start rearing their gnarly head again.

    I am proud of the progress & hard work my son has put forth. He is a wonderful soul & he has worked tirelessly to forge ahead with a warrior attitude (though his 16 yr old attitude shines through too:-)…..) Hang in there – I am glad I found your blog….I’ll be checking in from time to time!

    BTW: I am also diagnosed with Aspergers….blessings to you & your family.

  13. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Who knew being a parent would be such a rewarding, joy filled, terror filled, heart breaking ordeal?!

    May God give you strength for today and hope for tomorrow!

  14. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. My prayers are with you and your family. God bless!

  15. I truely respect your honosty. No family is perfect, that is what makes all of us so unique. For years we always wondered what was going on with my nephew. We always thought that he was “different”, but we loved him and embraced his uniqueness. He was finally dx with asp. last year and is therapy. My sister had to take him out of school and home school because kids are so cruel. He had problems with being bullied. For him, home is his safe haven. Know that you are not alone. God Bless.

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