A
Well I have been putting off this post for weeks now. Some of you may have noticed posting has slowed greatly around here. My family has been experiencing some difficulties. I thought I could just keep “blogging” through as I normally do. For the most part I try to keep this blog a happy place. Often it is my counter balance to a very stressful life. I think I have only mentioned it once. Today I finally decided that really wasn’t helping anybody and in many ways I am not being authentic by pretending everything is always okay. We have been receiving a tremendous amount support from our friends and in turn if there is anyway possible, we want to pass this goodness forward. We hope in some little way that in sharing our struggles at least one of you will know you are not alone.
A
My oldest son, whom is now 16, has Asperger’s Syndrome. Over the years we have certainly had our ups and downs. For the most part things have been manageable, but for the last couple of months it has been difficult. We finally realized we could no longer help our son alone.
A
So as I write this I am in Denver with my son. He is in a day treatment program at the Children’s Hospital. It has been bumpy and we often don’t know what the day will bring. We have been here over two weeks. Thankfully my husband and other children were able to join us for one week and experience some family therapy that was wonderful for building our family back up. I think this will be our final week here, fingers and toes crossed.
A
I guess my point in sharing this is to let you know if you find yourself in our spot, you are not alone. I wish I could say something profound to make your situation easier if you too find your family in crisis — maybe that will come later.
A
We are learning some valuable lessons:
Rely on Friends
This would have been far to difficult to handle alone. From the former autism consultant graciously opening her home (indefinitely –poor thing) to us while in Denver to the countless friends that have watched our children and made my husband meals, to those friends knowing this adventure would be difficult financially thus sending us off with money, we have been helped beyond belief.
Be Educated.
In the beginning we were, then we stepped away. This never goes away and this is one time ignorance is not bliss. It would have served us well to have kept reading and learning.
Sharpen Your tools.
For us when things went smoothly we closed up our tool box. Looking back we should have used the calm peaceful spells to make sure our (and especially our son’s) coping skills, management skills and tools for living were being honed, practiced and perfected.
Stay Connected.
There is power in numbers. Remember there are other families dealing with similar issues, really it is never necessary to feel like you are crazy and or alone! My family is living proof.
Be thankful.
Oh believe me this is hard some days, especially now that my life has come to a screeching halt. Everyday though we are reminded through our friends’ and family’s love and care of God’s unending provision for our lives. How thankful we are for their love and support.
A
We are thankful for the countless doctors and clinicians who have taken the time to learn the special nuances of this disorder and make it their life’s work to help these children.
A
We are thankful for those teachers that don’t give up, who often are at our house going the extra mile to help our son succeed.
A
We are thankful most of all for this amazing bright young man whom we have the honor to call our son. Daily his obstacles are great yet he keeps putting himself out there. We all could learn from his determination!
A
A
So this is why I haven’t been regularly posting and it might take awhile to get back in the swing of things when I return home, but please don’t be a stranger here , hopefully you can always find something fun in the categories. This blog brings me so much joy! Thank you for stopping by— I appreciate your presence more than you will ever know!
A
The photos were taken by my husband on a bike ride through the mountains with a friend and our boys last week.
T
Keeping you in my thoughts…my oldest has also been diagnosed and sometimes I get that drowning feeling…and am also thankful for my friends and his friends that have accepted him unconditionally and have come to understand who he really is!
Years ago I was able to see you handling this difficult situation first-hand (we lived in Germany together) and there is no one that has amazed me more by their ability to handle stress and crisis with humor and perspective. Even now, 7 years later, I think of you when the going gets tough and I try to find the humor in it all- it’s there, you just have to dig sometimes! Thanks for the life experience! I will be praying for you.
Cindy,
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My son, age 14, is also Aspergers. It took a long time to get the diagnosis, though, because he is internationally adopted and they wanted to rule out those delays. We are in a specialized school now that is wonderful for him. Our biggest issues are dealing with others who see him as “different”. Amazingly, it’s adults that can be cruel like children!!
I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you go through this. I am praying, too, that your son receives the help and treatment he needs. I was once told by a family member that God has made us all perfect and has a place for each of us in this world. Sometimes when I feel helpless with my son, I rely a lot on that. I hope it helps you too!
Hugs,
Caroline
My thoughts are with you! I love your blog because you are honest. Too many out there acting like the world is peachy keen when we all know it isn’t. I’m praying for your family tonight!
As a mom of a two year old still trying to determine a proper diagnosis I can completely feel for you. I am at the very beginning of this path and as someone further down the road, you give me great inspiration. I pray for you and your family. If nothing else I have learned that it’s family that you need to hold on tight and cling to in times of need. Good luck.
Today was my first visit to your website. Very touching. I am new to the blog world and I am so grateful for this avenue of expression, that we as mothers are able to utilize and bond with someone clear across the country…
The presence of you being with your son is so powerful. Not only as a mother, but as an other “being” experiencing his reality with him.
Sending positive and joyful thoughts to you and your family.
♥ Alice
I have been reading your blog for some time and have loved it. I am so glad that you chose to share your challenges in dealing with Autism/Asperger’s. I am sure you have no idea how far-reaching the effects are in sharing this as so many people are sharing the same struggles.
PS Nice pictures!
hang in there. It seems like you have the core basics figured out. Friends, knowledge and acknowledging the blessings. I know when I found out about my two children having it – it was hard. I also know sometimes when they would act out it was difficult for others because they look “normal”. I think it takes courage and lots of strength for parents to deal with the extras God gives us. We are the best advocates for our children. Sending lots of love and prayers your way. *Remember the little things*
I have been in your shoes many times – my granddaughter was born with a disease – 1st we were shunned even by my own sister – I have not seen her since October 1990 & we were very close. But the bottom line is that you are doing every thing that you possibly do – that is the important thing. My husband passed away 15 months after Miranda did at 12 years old – so the best that I can tell you is that when every thing is done – which, by no means that your situation is this bad – but in your heart if you have done everything possible – it will be ok. My other daughter had a set of twins that are now 8 – and they are pretty sure that one of them has what your son has. We will take it 1 day at a time.
Blessings
Bev
P.S. – I truly hope that I have given you some inspiration – I know I can be a little confusing some times – but that is what passion does to you – you have your main focus.
Sending lots of hugs and prayers to you and your family. Thanks for sharing and just know that you are never alone!
You are an inspiration to all who read your blog. As I was reading the comments of other women I couldnt think of anything more to say other than to echo each of their comments and to let you know that one more family, mine, will be praying for you and your family. May the Lord Bless each of you. x
I have a 5 year old son who also has asperbergers syndrome. We are trying to educate ourselves and have our son in therapy. He has grown leaps & bounds in the last year. Thankyou for your tips and advice. I will remember them. I have been following your blog only a few months but really enjoy it. May our Father in Heaven bless and keep you and your family!
I live in Parker and I would love to bring you and your family a meal or something! I love your site and hope you can find some answers for helping your son!
God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing such fabulous advice. It takes an amazing amount of strength and courage to deal with these kinds of crises day-in and day-out. May you continue to find strength in your blog and in your friends and family.
Love and prayers to you and yours.
I am definately sending good thoughts your way. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but with all the support you are getting you will get through this. I enjoy reading your blog, the good and the bad. It is nice to share your experience with others so they know they aren’t alone for sure. Take care and hope things go well for you, your son and your entire family!