A
Well I have been putting off this post for weeks now. Some of you may have noticed posting has slowed greatly around here. My family has been experiencing some difficulties. I thought I could just keep “blogging” through as I normally do. For the most part I try to keep this blog a happy place. Often it is my counter balance to a very stressful life. I think I have only mentioned it once. Today I finally decided that really wasn’t helping anybody and in many ways I am not being authentic by pretending everything is always okay. We have been receiving a tremendous amount support from our friends and in turn if there is anyway possible, we want to pass this goodness forward. We hope in some little way that in sharing our struggles at least one of you will know you are not alone.
A
My oldest son, whom is now 16, has Asperger’s Syndrome. Over the years we have certainly had our ups and downs. For the most part things have been manageable, but for the last couple of months it has been difficult. We finally realized we could no longer help our son alone.
A
So as I write this I am in Denver with my son. He is in a day treatment program at the Children’s Hospital. It has been bumpy and we often don’t know what the day will bring. We have been here over two weeks. Thankfully my husband and other children were able to join us for one week and experience some family therapy that was wonderful for building our family back up. I think this will be our final week here, fingers and toes crossed.
A
I guess my point in sharing this is to let you know if you find yourself in our spot, you are not alone. I wish I could say something profound to make your situation easier if you too find your family in crisis — maybe that will come later.
A
We are learning some valuable lessons:
Rely on Friends
This would have been far to difficult to handle alone. From the former autism consultant graciously opening her home (indefinitely –poor thing) to us while in Denver to the countless friends that have watched our children and made my husband meals, to those friends knowing this adventure would be difficult financially thus sending us off with money, we have been helped beyond belief.
Be Educated.
In the beginning we were, then we stepped away. This never goes away and this is one time ignorance is not bliss. It would have served us well to have kept reading and learning.
Sharpen Your tools.
For us when things went smoothly we closed up our tool box. Looking back we should have used the calm peaceful spells to make sure our (and especially our son’s) coping skills, management skills and tools for living were being honed, practiced and perfected.
Stay Connected.
There is power in numbers. Remember there are other families dealing with similar issues, really it is never necessary to feel like you are crazy and or alone! My family is living proof.
Be thankful.
Oh believe me this is hard some days, especially now that my life has come to a screeching halt. Everyday though we are reminded through our friends’ and family’s love and care of God’s unending provision for our lives. How thankful we are for their love and support.
A
We are thankful for the countless doctors and clinicians who have taken the time to learn the special nuances of this disorder and make it their life’s work to help these children.
A
We are thankful for those teachers that don’t give up, who often are at our house going the extra mile to help our son succeed.
A
We are thankful most of all for this amazing bright young man whom we have the honor to call our son. Daily his obstacles are great yet he keeps putting himself out there. We all could learn from his determination!
A
A
So this is why I haven’t been regularly posting and it might take awhile to get back in the swing of things when I return home, but please don’t be a stranger here , hopefully you can always find something fun in the categories. This blog brings me so much joy! Thank you for stopping by— I appreciate your presence more than you will ever know!
A
The photos were taken by my husband on a bike ride through the mountains with a friend and our boys last week.
T
Thank you for your honesty. Your post was wonderful and I am sure helpful to many. I wish the best to you and your family.
Hi! You don’t know me…but I love your blog. I just wanted to let you know that I will be sending lots of love and prayers your way. Your advice is so right. Through sharing your story you will help others!!! My daughter has T1 diabetes so I understand the fear of being in the hospital and all that comes with it. Take care! Love, Meg
My prayers are with you and your family, especially your son! So sorry your family is having such a rough patch…I hope things smooth out from here on out!!!
You are in my thoughts….
No, we never are alone, are we? No matter how overwhelming it feels, there is peace and calm amidst the storm. My 13-year old son has Asperger’s – I have been watching the way Asperger’s changes as puberty takes full hold. My sons struggles are every bit as difficult as they were when he was three, but they look so much different now.
I hope you continue to blog about this. I know very few parents of teen Aspergarians and find resources difficult to find as we move into this new stage.
It’s very easy in this faceless world of blogging, to assume our favourite writers are moseying along just fine when we’re not looking, but that isn’t always the case and I’m so glad you’ve spoken with such authenticity now.
Our eldest, Jay, is 10½ and autistic, and this week, we’ll be telling him about his disability for the first time (some give their ASD kids the specifics sooner, but in our case, Jay has really only become appropriately mature in the last year or so). It’s a very scary time for us – just last night I was in tears watching a British documentary on kids on the spectrum. I’ve got a pretty thick skin most of the time but it’s the off-guard moments that shake your foundations the most.
Know that even though the vast majority of Bloggityville remains faceless, there’s a genuine, solid community out there so reach out and offload just as often as you need it 🙂
Thinkin’ of you…
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You have been a wonderful source of inspiration to me and would like to thank you. If there is anything I can do- please let me know.
I used to live in the Denver area. (The food there is great! I know some yummy inexpensive places if you are interested. Boy, I miss the mexican food there!)
God Bless-
Michelle
Thank you for taking a moment, during this difficult time, to share your story and your words of encouragement and advice to others — for putting YOURSELF out there to help others. You are a very generous person all around. Our thoughts are with you and your family, and we’re hoping that everything will improve for you all.
You and your family will be in my prayers tonight. Sometimes we all just need to vent and let our feelings out. Please take care and may God and his Angels watch over you!
Thank you for your thoughts. I don’t know you, but enjoy your blog every moning about 8am. Thanks for sharing your creativity and life through your blog. WE LOVE IT! My thoughts are with you and your family and pray that you will return home soon!
You made me cry! Well said, our middle son who just turned 5 has Angelman’s Syndrome, and I think this post just shook me out of my complacency! You captured the essence of a special needs family perfectly. Much love to you and your family!
I am keeping you and your family in my prayers!! Blessings and hugs!!
I love your honesty. You rock. Keep it up!
Thanks for being vulnerable and real. Every time I’ve done that (and it’s hard for me, too!) I feel blessed in return and am so glad I did. I’ll pray for your family. Much strength and love to you!
My prayers are with you. I have a friend whose two children both have Aspergers and it has been a challenge and I am sure will continue even though they are both adults now. I have also worked in personal for adults with Autism. It touches all our lives in some way or another.
Thank you so much for sharing. I also have a 13 yr son with Autism. At times it’s difficult but knowing my Heavenly Father loves me so much to entrust me with this spirit and I try to do the best I can. Thank you also for the reminder to keep learning and sharpening those tools. I sometimes forget I need to keep on top of it. My daughter and I love you site and love to make and share with others the things we learn. We’ll keep your family in our prayers.