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Well I have been putting off this post for weeks now. Some of you may have noticed posting has slowed greatly around here. My family has been experiencing some difficulties. I thought I could just keep “blogging” through as I normally do. For the most part I try to keep this blog a happy place. Often it is my counter balance to a very stressful life. I think I have only mentioned it once. Today I finally decided that really wasn’t helping anybody and in many ways I am not being authentic by pretending everything is always okay. We have been receiving a tremendous amount support from our friends and in turn if there is anyway possible, we want to pass this goodness forward. We hope in some little way that in sharing our struggles at least one of you will know you are not alone.
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My oldest son, whom is now 16, has Asperger’s Syndrome. Over the years we have certainly had our ups and downs. For the most part things have been manageable, but for the last couple of months it has been difficult. We finally realized we could no longer help our son alone.
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So as I write this I am in Denver with my son. He is in a day treatment program at the Children’s Hospital. It has been bumpy and we often don’t know what the day will bring. We have been here over two weeks. Thankfully my husband and other children were able to join us for one week and experience some family therapy that was wonderful for building our family back up. I think this will be our final week here, fingers and toes crossed.
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I guess my point in sharing this is to let you know if you find yourself in our spot, you are not alone. I wish I could say something profound to make your situation easier if you too find your family in crisis — maybe that will come later.
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We are learning some valuable lessons:
Rely on Friends
This would have been far to difficult to handle alone. From the former autism consultant graciously opening her home (indefinitely –poor thing) to us while in Denver to the countless friends that have watched our children and made my husband meals, to those friends knowing this adventure would be difficult financially thus sending us off with money, we have been helped beyond belief.
Be Educated.
In the beginning we were, then we stepped away. This never goes away and this is one time ignorance is not bliss. It would have served us well to have kept reading and learning.
Sharpen Your tools.
For us when things went smoothly we closed up our tool box. Looking back we should have used the calm peaceful spells to make sure our (and especially our son’s) coping skills, management skills and tools for living were being honed, practiced and perfected.
Stay Connected.
There is power in numbers. Remember there are other families dealing with similar issues, really it is never necessary to feel like you are crazy and or alone! My family is living proof.
Be thankful.
Oh believe me this is hard some days, especially now that my life has come to a screeching halt. Everyday though we are reminded through our friends’ and family’s love and care of God’s unending provision for our lives. How thankful we are for their love and support.
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We are thankful for the countless doctors and clinicians who have taken the time to learn the special nuances of this disorder and make it their life’s work to help these children.
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We are thankful for those teachers that don’t give up, who often are at our house going the extra mile to help our son succeed.
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We are thankful most of all for this amazing bright young man whom we have the honor to call our son. Daily his obstacles are great yet he keeps putting himself out there. We all could learn from his determination!
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So this is why I haven’t been regularly posting and it might take awhile to get back in the swing of things when I return home, but please don’t be a stranger here , hopefully you can always find something fun in the categories. This blog brings me so much joy! Thank you for stopping by— I appreciate your presence more than you will ever know!
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The photos were taken by my husband on a bike ride through the mountains with a friend and our boys last week.
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Oh I’m so sorry to hear you and your family are going through a tough time. I’m a Special Ed teacher and understand what you are going through. I’ve had several students with this type of autism over the years ~ it always varies in different degrees and difficulities.
I wish you all the best and how wonderful for your son that he has such loving and supportive parents who are obviously doing all they can for him!
Fondly ~
Jo
Well said! Good luck on your journey 🙂 It sounds like you’re back on track and hopefully things will work out for your family and son.
Thank you for being so open and honest about your son and your life! You are blessed with a beautiful son, even with his autism, and God will always be there for you, your son, and your family. Remember, God will take your troubles from you if you hand them to him!
Please keep us updated on your son, as we consider you and yours a part of our family too!
I will keep you in my prayers!
Thank you for sharing. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope hope things calm down soon and your family can come together once again!
Michelle
I don’t really know what to say. I am a mother & I can only try imagine the pain & hardship of what you are going through.
We will be thinking about your son and your family. Be strong and remember that your blog change peoples life, so think positive (as much as you can), we are with you in our hearts and prayers.
This was so touching to read. Normally I lurk in the background, enjoying all your wonderful posts but never comment. However today I wanted to say Thank You for revealing such a personal part of your life.
My 8yo son was classified by the school’s specialist with high functioning ASD so I’ve been reading and learning about the different types of Autism. I was truly shocked to find that 1 in 4 kids is suspected of having some form of Autism but we’re only starting to really hear about it in the media. I was so afraid when we first heard the news but with lots of support and help from all the people around us and his school, we’re understanding how to help my son lead a full and adventurous life!
You are right, you aren’t alone! I send prayers and good thoughts to you and your family and hope things go well for you! Good luck!
Thanks so much for sharing this. It really touched my heart. Although I have not been affected by autism, I have a child who was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at age 6. His illness affected our entire family and all the things you posted really do help. Education, Connection to others going through similar things, friends, Gratittude and God really do make all the difference. I’m sorry your family has to go through this, but I have found that some of these experiences are truly “Blessings” and I will keep you all especially your son in my prayers.
I will keep your family in my prayers.
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your difficulties and hopefulness. Prayers and hugs to your family –
Thank you for opening your heart to us so eloquently. You’ll all be in my prayers.
Know that you are not alone—know that God gives us what we can handle, even though we don’t always see that–know that you have made a difference in my life. You have brought joy to me by bringing me all your beautiful ideas…and making the smallest thing bring the biggest joy. Just a few weeks ago I logged on as I do everyday to Skip to my Lou and found the cutest little craft for those little pouches and tissue holders…and look at me now selling them on etsy…because of your posting! I am completely addicted to making them now and sharing them with anyone who will take one!! I wish you all the best and I pray that your son has some hopeful news soon. Many thanks for all you do and you are in my thoughts and prayers!
You and your family are in my prayers. I love your blog and will wait patiently while your home life returns to “normal”.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I worked in special education for 17 years. During that time I worked with several students that had autism. It is not easy for all involved..the child, the parents or the siblings. Professional support is very essential, but so is the support of friends and family. I will keep you all in my prayers.
I have worked with children with many ASD diagnosis and while I know you struggled with this decision it was one you made with love and with the information that you were ultimately helping your son and the entire family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.