200+ FUNNY Christmas Jokes To Share A Giggle

Tis the season for making spirits bright. These Christmas jokes are sure to bring a smile. These are the perfect jokes for kids at your school Christmas party or just clowning around on Christmas Eve.

REPLATED: You know we love all kinds of kids’ jokes around here! We are cracking up at these Elf Jokes.

How to Make Printable Joke Cards for Christmas

1. Download Printable Christmas Jokes
2. Print the PDF in color on white cardstock.
3. Slip into your child’s lunch or stick to a bathroom mirror. Anywhere a family member might see one and have a giggle.

Laughter helps keep the season truly merry and bright.

Christmas Jokes For Kids

• What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light? You light me up!
• Why do Mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
• What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
• What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? Cookie sheets!
• What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This will sleigh you.
• Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
• How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt.
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
• What says, ‘Oh Oh Oh’? Santa walking backward!
• Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-alph!
• Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.
• Where does Santa keep his money? A Snow Bank.
• What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A Pineapple
• Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? Because he went down in history.
• Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s in Decembrrrr!

Funny Christmas Jokes

Have you heard some good belly laugh Christmas jokes? Please share them in the comments. Here are some of the best Christmas puns and rib ticklers that were not included in the printable.

• What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
• What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? Christmas Quacker!
• What do sheep say to each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to ewe.
• What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
• What did one snowman say to the other? A: Do you smell carrots?
• What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood!
• What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat? Snowflakes.
• What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail? They would go to a “re-tail” shop for a new one!
• Why is a reindeer always wet? Because he’s a ‘rain’ deer!
• What do you call a dog who works for Santa Claus? Santa Paws!
• What is a parents favorite Christmas carol? Silent night!
•  Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’! 
• What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

More Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns

The silly jokes just keep coming! Try these knee slappers on for size:

• What do you call Santa Claus when he stops moving? Santa Pause!
• How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico? Fleece Navidad!
• What’s red, white and blue on Christmas? A sad candy cane!
• What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y”!
• What do wild animals sing at Christmastime? Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
• Why did Santa’s helper go to a therapist? Because he had low elf esteem!
• Why did the ornament say he was addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life!
• What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat? A broken drum. 
• Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot’s him.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! 
• Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much? Because every single buck is dear to him! 
• What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places. 
• What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes
• What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Ornamints.
• What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly Ranchers.
• What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
• What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
• What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson! 
• Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks.
• What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
• What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
• What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.
• How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?
• Nurse them back to elf.
• What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
• What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
• What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
• What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
• What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
• What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
• What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
• What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
• What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
• What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
• What do grapes sing at Christmas? Tis the season to be jelly.
• What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
• Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
• Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
• What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
• How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? Present!
• What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
• Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
• How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
• What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
• What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
• What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
• What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
• What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
• How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
• What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
• How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
• How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
• What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
• What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
• Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
• What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
• Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
• What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
• What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!
• What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
• What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
• What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
• Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
• What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo.
• What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!
• What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
• What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!
• Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!
• How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
• How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
• What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.
• What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
• Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.
• What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!
• What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.
• What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf Farm.
• Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!
• What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.
• How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!
• What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
• How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
• Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning? Because it was Decembrrrrr!
• What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y!”
• In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? EVERY year!
• What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.
• What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story? The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
• What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson!
• How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.
• What do you get when Santa becomes a detective? Santa CLUES!
• What is an elf’s favorite sport? North-pole vaulting.
• What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky? It looks like rain, deer.
• How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer!
• What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
• What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot? A chill pill.
• What should you give your parents at Christmas? A list of what you want.
• What does a grumpy sheep say when his friends told him Merry Christmas? Baaaa humbug!
• Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Elephanta Claus.
• How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-deer.
• Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up? It had no legs.
• Why does Santa work at the North Pole? Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole!
• Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history.
• What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell.
• What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
• What did one snowman say another snowman? You’re cool.
• How do chickens dance at a Christmas party? Chick to chick.
• What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt? Snow!
• What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!
• How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
• Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
• Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem.
• What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat? Hits a gnome and runs.
• What do fish sing during the holidays? Christmas corals.
• What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Ornamints.
• What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!
• What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
• Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll!
• Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake.
• Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much? Because every single buck is dear to him!
• What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
• What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.
• Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
• Why do mummies like Christmas so much? They’re into all the wrapping.
• Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
• How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
• What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
• What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
• What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
• What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
• What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.
• What’s the difference between Santa and a knight? One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
• Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed!
• What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? Yule-Tide.
• How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? He uses Comet.
• What is Santa’s favorite pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!
• What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause!
• How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.
• What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school? Present.
• Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner, and always wet? Because they are rain deer.
• What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues!
• What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? St. O’Claus!
• When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him? Sandy Claus
• What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
• What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert? Oh caaamel ye faithful.
• Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed!
• How do you scare a snowman? Grab a hairdryer!
• Why does Santa have elves in his workshop? Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
• What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole? Bi-Polar.
• How do you wash your hands over the holidays? With Santa-tizer.
• What does Rudolph want for Christmas? The newest Sleigh Station.
• What comes at the end of Christmas? The letter “S”!
• What did Santa say when he stepped in a puddle? It looks like it reindeer.
• What’s Santa’s favorite type of potato chip? Kringles!
• What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
• What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
• What do you call it when Santa takes a break? A Santa Pause.
• Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
• Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
• Who’s Santa Claus’s favorite pop star? It’s Beyon-sleigh.
• What happens when you combine Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker.
• What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast? Hold on for deer life.
• Where would you find a snowman dancing? At a snowball!
• What do golfers get in their stockings? Silly putty!
• Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer!
• What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? Tis the season to be jelly!
• What’s worse than a reindeer with a runny nose? A snowman with a fever!
• Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf!
• Why don’t reindeer like picnics? Because of all their ant-lures.
• What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes ribbit, ribbit? A Mistle-toad.
• What would you give a dog as a present for Christmas? A mobile bone.
• What did the reindeer say before he went up to the comedy show to tell a joke? This one’s going to sleigh you.
• Why did the Grinch decide to go to the haunted house the other day? Because he was searching for the holiday spirit.
• What type of cars do the elves of Santa Claus drive? Toy-otas.
• What diagnosis did the doctor give to the patient who kept eating Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.
• How does Santa Claus keep track of every fireplace he has already visited? He keeps a log.
• Why does Snoop Dogg always love giving gifts to everyone? Probably because he’s very good at wrapping.
• What do you call someone who can’t stop talking about last Christmas? Santa-mental!
• How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal snowman.
• How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-deer.
• Why is a foot a good Christmas present? Because it makes a good stocking filler.
• Why do Donner and Blitzen get to take so many coffee breaks? Because they are Santa’s star bucks!
• What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.
• How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
• What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho.
• Did you hear that Santa knows karate? He has a black belt.
• Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks? Santa Jaws.
• Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy.
• What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
• Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon? It needed a little trim.
• What do elves do after school? Their gnome work.
• What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceberg-ers.

I have to share a couple Christmas knock-knock jokes!

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Mary
Mary Who?
Mary Christmas!

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

You can’t have a Merry Christmas without laughter. These best Christmas jokes will keep your family laughing all season long.

More Jokes

There is always more fun to be had at any time of year! Don’t miss these laugh out loud jokes for holidays and every day!

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• Printable lunch box Halloween Kids Jokes
• Valentine’s Day Kids Jokes.
• Printable food jokes
• Easter jokes
• Knock Knock Jokes For Kids